Chapter 3 Adventurers’ Respite
A fortress lurked deep in an oppressively overgrown forest.
Once, to fend off the monster threat, humans had stacked stone upon stone, creating a structure not easily bested. There was nothing more unyielding—no matter how fierce the combat, it staved off all invasions.
The fortress’s unvarnished record had earned it the reputation unfellable—it was the pride of every guard inside.
But that was a long time ago.
Time passed, its role diminished, and it was abandoned. Left to their own devices, the plants grew wild, and monsters moved in.
“A hundred years old. No gas or water. No longer fit for human dwelling, but the perfect real estate for any monster… Oh! I think we can get in here.”
The vegetation’s unchecked growth had created gaps in the exterior walls big enough to slip inside if they turned sideways.
Masato’s party followed.
“Doesn’t mean they can just move in.”
“The area villagers were very worried! We should do something!”
Wise the Sage and Porta the Traveling Merchant easily slipped through after him.
Up next was Medhi the Cleric.
“Sorry, I can’t get through there.”
“Um, why not? We managed it easily.”
“Wise, I do hate to point this out, but there is a significant difference between the two of us. That is, in terms of measurements.”
Medhi had turned sideways and tried to slip through, but her chest was a bit too well-developed to make that feasible.
However… “Right, c’mon!” “Huh?!” This just annoyed Wise, and she grabbed Medhi’s arm, yanking. Her boobs were squished, flattened, and scraped against.
“Wise! Don’t do this! If you scrape my boobs off and I end up like you, what then?!”
“So? Not a problem for me! Wait…they do look smaller! Wow, congrats.”
“Whoa…M-Masato! I didn’t know you could shave boobs off! Did you?”
“Sorry, Porta, not my department. I have no opinions here.”
Nothing good ever came of jumping into a girl fight. Masato elected to keep his distance.
He was more worried about the last party member.
“If Medhi barely fit, then…Mom definitely can’t.”
“Yes, it doesn’t look promising, but I’ll try my best! Just you wait.”
“Er, no, don’t force—”
But before he could finish, Mamako’s smiling face was already inside the gap.
His mother seemed hell-bent on getting through. She was holding her generous bosom in place with both hands, trying to force her way in.
She took a single crab-step sideways and got stuck.
“Oh dear. I can’t move another inch!”
“That’s why I said don’t! Ugh, fine. I’ll do something! With my Hero power!”
Masato seized the Holy Sword, Firmamento! And with the power of physics, he attempted to leverage the gap!
It did not budge.
“Argh, no use! Okay. Mom, you’ll have to use the power of the earth again.”
“Yes, I’ll do just… Oh?”
But just then, Mamako’s massive mom mammaries…
Like springs squeezed too tight, they went boing, and there was a rumble, and the gap opened.
“Oh my! Now I can get through! Hee-hee.”
“You have got to be kidding.”
“Moving a rock wall with her boobs alone…only Mamako.”
“Then again, that’s all in day’s work for her.”
“Mama is amazing! Even her boobs are all-powerful!”
“Back up a minute… This doesn’t actually make sense. There has to be some limits! We’ve gotta draw the line somewhere!”
“Well, Ma-kun, let’s get this quest started! Yay!”
“““Yay!”””
“Is nobody listening?!”
But they’d reached their destination—the starting point of today’s quest.
Said quest involved exterminating the monsters in the fortress.
Now that mom boobs had proven more powerful than the Hero’s might, Masato was forced to focus on the task at hand.
He stood at the fore of his party, and they began exploring.
“Supposedly there are a lot of monsters in here, but I’m not seeing any.”
“Perhaps that’s what they want us to think. Could be an ambush.”
“If they’re smart enough to do that, it could be trouble.”
“I’ll keep close watch! I won’t let any monster movements go unnoticed! Hngg!”
They picked their way through the darkness by the light of Porta’s lantern.
Plants had invaded the inside of the fort, too, but seemingly without causing significant structural damage. The walls and ceilings were all intact.
There were footprints in the soil—proof that monsters roamed. They led ahead, and off to the left…
“Something’s here!” Masato exclaimed. Something had moved in the corner of his eye, and he quickly raised his sword.
“Don’t worry! There are no monsters that way.”
“Huh? There aren’t? Well, if you say so, Porta… But I swear I saw something move.”
“I think this is what you saw, Ma-kun.”
Mamako was pointing at his bangs.
“Er…my own hair? Uh…I guess that’s possible. It’s getting pretty long… I guess it has been floating in and out of my vision.”
“Geez, Masato, give us a break. You are so annoying.”
“Panicking over your own bangs. If they’re going to get in the way of this quest, why don’t we just cut them off now?”
“Then let Mommy get her scissors! Hee-hee.”
But Mamako was waving her swords around instead. “Don’t!” The tools and location were all wrong for a haircut.
“Sorry for the false alarm! I’ll be more careful! Let’s go.”
He pushed his hair back. His vision clear, they moved on.
But something was obviously wrong.
“…This place is deserted.”
They wandered aimlessly through the fortress, finding nothing amiss.
They peered through one door after another, discovering plenty of piles of dry leaves that looked like animals had slept there—but nothing else.
No matter how long they searched, there were no monsters.
“So, uh…what does this mean?” asked Wise.
“There are two possibilities. They’re hiding…or they’ve already been exterminated,” said Medhi.
“Some other adventurers got here first? No, that can’t be it,” said Masato. “We took this quest first thing this morning from the nearest Adventurers Guild.”
“And the receptionist lady clearly said, ‘I can infooorm you that this is a new request that just came in.’ She looked super familiar, so I remember it well.”
“Yeah, I know. Far too familiar.”
Masato closed his eyes, picturing her unflappable visage.
“She clearly wanted us to take the quest—basically forced it on us. So hard to imagine anyone else getting here first.”
“In which case, the monsters must be hiding!”
“Yeah, that seems the likeliest theory. I guess just…keep your guard up?”
When monsters were hiding, that usually meant they’d all jump on you when you stepped in the wrong room. Your standard-issue ambush.
As if in answer to their call, they spied a courtyard up ahead. A fairly large one.
“The second we step out, some iron bars are gonna come crashing down behind us.”
“We’ll be trapped, and a bunch of monsters will start roaring and stuff.”
“Then they’ll attack from all sides. We’ll be in serious trouble…”
“And Mama will say ‘Hyah!’ and it’ll all be over!”
““Exactly.””
“Hold up, Porta. Just this once, I’m gonna—”
“No time like the present! Mommy will do her best!”
“No, wait, Mom! Let me—”
They entered the courtyard.
Iron bars slammed down over the door behind them!
That was it. Nothing else happened.
“…Huh?”
They’d each drawn their weapons, Porta safely behind them, ready for anything.
But a full minute—five full minutes—passed without incident.
Not a single monster appeared.
“………………Uh, what’s going on?”
What did this mean?
They needed answers.
When the party got back to the guild looking for those answers…
“I must offer you my humblest of apologies,” the lady at the counter said with exceptional politeness.
But since her expression remained as immobile as ever, it didn’t really feel like she meant it. This was Shiraaase, disguised as a guild receptionist.
“There’s clearly something going on here. Spare us the apologies, and fess up! We demand accurate infooormation. Joke free.”
“Robbing me of my modest pleasures in life. You’re a heartless Hero, Masato.”
“Maybe find a less obnoxious pleasure. C’mon, explain.”
“Very well. Allow me to infooorm,” Shiraaase said reluctantly. “Accepting an extermination quest, but finding no monsters to exterminate…is perfectly normal.”
“How so?”
“Because today, every monster in the game has the day off.”
“……Huh?”
Monsters. With a day off.
Masato had no clue what that even meant. He glanced back at his party, and there were question marks over every head.
“Er, what?”
“Perhaps this is new territory for you, but you may have heard the government is pursuing labor reforms?”
“They are? First I’ve heard of it…” said Wise.
“I’ve read about this. Closely monitoring work environments and hours, ensuring adequate vacation hours, increasing work satisfaction and productivity. Was that the gist of it?”
“Oh! I get that! There are rules requiring time off!”
“Huh…? Medhi is one thing, but even Porta’s heard about this? …M-Masato, have you?!”
“Obviously, I know everything.” Shing!
The light gleamed off the white of his teeth.
That just proved he was lying, though. Wise looked pleased to have company in ignorance. Masato, not so much.
“Medhi and Porta are exactly right,” said Shiraaase. “Thus, the monsters also have the day off.”
“Okay…so monster labor reform. No, wait. That makes no sense. They’re monsters! It’s not a job!”
“But they’re being monsters twenty-four hours a day, three hundred and sixty-five days a year. If they don’t take a few days off, even monsters will get tired!”
“Mom, that doesn’t even make sense. By that logic, we’d get tired of being humans all the time…”
He trailed off.
Was he really never tired of being human?
Oh…I guess I am sometimes.
His eyes glazed over in a thousand-yard stare. Porta looked puzzled, but Wise and Medhi’s gazes were similarly empty. Being a teenager took its toll.
If humans got tired, it stood to reason monsters did, too.
“Since Mamako was kind enough to offer up a plausible explanation, we’ll go with that and keep the real one a secret,” said Shiraaase.
“What’s the real one?”
“For example, the fact that people like myself—admins supervising the game world—are required to monitor any dangerous activities. Like combat. That’s our job.”
“Aha.”
“Which means that even if it’s my day off in the real world, I’m required to be here.”
“Y-you are…?”
“Even if I have a five-year-old daughter, I’m forced to pack her a lunch and beg my parents to take her to the zoo while I work.”
“Er, that…sounds awful…”
“Meanwhile, hotheaded teenage boys oblivious to my work-life balance insist on adventuring, and I’m forced to take over for employees on their day off, providing new quests to entertain them. Isn’t labor great? Rah-rah labor.”
“…Who…would be so horrible? These boys suck.”
Masato did not meet Shiraaase’s eyes.
Giving monsters a day off limited the adventurers’ actions, allowing the admins some much-needed time off of their own. That was clearly the real goal here.
“Back to the point. As I’ve said, today is the monsters’ day off, so no extermination quests can be completed. I do apologize for not infooorming you in advance.”
“Nah, that’s fine…”
“Neglecting to mention that fact was a simple human error caused by overwork. Can I ask your forgiveness?”
“Y-yes! I forgive you! I’m a man of my word! Don’t worry about it.”
“How kind of you, Masato. You have my thanks.”
The guilt had him bowing his head, and Shiraaase smiled then rose to her feet.
“I would like to call this an end to my work hours and return to my day off.”
“Go ahead! Please, enjoy yourself! W-we’ll take today off, too! Don’t you worry about a thing!”
“Really? That is a relief. Enjoy your respite.”
Shiraaase dropped a CLOSED sign on the desk and headed out, muttering, “…Over a week since I got a weekday off…my daughter’s at kindergarten…hmm, how best to spend this time? Heh-heh-heh…”
She vanished into the back room.
Masato watched her go, and Wise clapped a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“She toyed with you again, huh? Buck up.”
“Argh. Everything after ‘For example’ was just hypothetical, huh? I shoulda known.”
“But I suppose the outcome isn’t bad? Getting you to agree to a day off is an accomplishment.”
“Yeah, agreed,” said Wise. “R and R is important.”
“Yes! I think days off are good things! Right, Masato?”
He wasn’t sure why Porta was quite so passionate about this subject.
But he wasn’t taking it back. And if all the monsters were on vacation, they couldn’t very well quest or even grind in the fields. So there was only one option left.
“Right, then…I guess…”
“Let’s all have a good day off! Yay!”
“Can we get a respite from you jumping on my lines, Mom? Sigh…”
Masato hung his head, robbed of his chance to lead the party once more.
A beautiful, sunny day.
Mamako had doled out a bonus to his allowance, so his wallet was full.
He was ready for a day off.
“But what should I do? It’s a bit early for lunch…”
They’d split up at the guild, electing to spend the day on their own terms.
Be back at the inn for dinner, but no other restrictions. Genuine free time.
Everyone else had already headed out, leaving Masato alone in front of the guild.
“…What do you even do with time off?”
Masato generally spent weekends gaming to his heart’s content, but he was already in a game, so he had no idea of what to do with himself.
He looked up at the sky above, and his hair got in his eyes again.
“Maybe I should get a haircut…mm, sure. Sounds like a plan.”
He reached up and toyed with his bangs, then headed out.
This was an inn town. Much smaller than towns with actual names, but still big enough to be worthy of the name.
They’d never been here before, which meant he didn’t know where anything was—so Masato elected to enjoy the search for his destination.
“This place has style, at least.”
He didn’t see earthen walls like this in the real world. Or hear his footsteps on cobblestones or the clatter of passing wagons.
All of this was unique to a fantasy world, and he took a moment to savor it.
He glanced around, his eyes following some bored-looking Warrior and Mage girls.
“No, not just looking at the girls. Enjoying the sights! Yup.”
Making excuses to no one in particular, he quickened his pace.
The crowds were increasing. He followed the flow and the sounds of bustle, figuring that would take him to the shopping district…
But then.
“Wait, really? That sounds so cool!”
A familiar voice.
“Is that…Wise?”
He peered through the crowd and saw a girl in red making a racket. Definitely Wise.
She was talking to a handsome, stylish male model type. Masato couldn’t hear enough to tell what they were saying, though.
“Is he hitting on her? …Nah, no way. Impossible. Nobody would hit on Wise.”
He was sure they wouldn’t.
But then Wise put her arm through the male model’s, and they walked off together.
“Er, wha—seriously?!”
Seriously. They were clearly chatting happily.
Masato was left gaping.
“…Well, fine. None of my business. She can do what she likes! Yep.”
He decided not to care. Busy not caring. No caring here.
Wise was a party member, and they got on well. But that was no cause to be jealous just because she was talking to some other dude. He had no reason to be.
If someone hit on her, and she went off with them and did whatever—that was her choice.
He didn’t care at all. Which was why…
Masato was hiding in the shadows, peering around the corner.
“…Not that I actually care. That’s not why I’m tailing them. It’s just that I’m the party leader, and it’s my job to ensure the safety of every member.”
Passersby were giving him funny looks, but he was past noticing. He had to keep his party safe. Definitely the reason.
He was watching Wise and the male model, who were still walking and chatting.
Just as he was wondering where they were going, they turned into a shop.
Masato slipped out of the shadows, merging with the crowd, and walked past the storefront.
“A clothing store…?”
The window was filled with brightly colored tops, short bottoms, reasonably priced accessories—typical girls’ fashion.
“Picks up her and moves straight to buying her presents? Damn, dude.”
He kept his eyes sidelong all the way past and then did a U-turn.
As he passed a second time, he looked farther in. Lots of pink. Hearts everywhere. Whole place was bright and vibrant. Only girls inside. Probably pretty raucous.
“Oh, there’s that model guy. Don’t see Wise, though…”
He’d run out of shops to walk past and had to do another U-turn.
On his third trip he moved as slowly as possible, trying to locate Wise. The chocolate cornet-esque pigtails framing her head oughta make her stand out more than this, but…
“…Hmm?”
Masato realized every girl in the shop had turned to glare at him. Like he was the weirdo here.
“Uh…n-nope, I’m just passing by! Ha-ha-ha!”
This was not good. He mustered his least suspicious smile and moved away.
“There’s a creep outside! Get him!”
“Anyone with combat skills, lend a hand! Quick!”
“Aughh! Wait, I didn’t even—”
“Nobody’s faster than a Thief! You’re not going anywhere!”
Some of those girls had been vacationing adventurers.
One of them shot out of the shop too fast for the eye to follow and quickly nabbed Masato’s arm.
Oh, she’s…got a lot up top…
Maybe not the right time for that thought.
A moment later, a really muscly girl had him in a nelson hold, and he was dragged into the shop.
“Wait, wait, I’m not a creep! Wow, those are really pressing against my back…”
“Ugh, see? Total sleazebag.”
“No—crap! I didn’t say that! Not thinking anything weird!”
“We oughta kill him now! But it’s our day off…no weapons with us…anyone here know magic? It’s an emergency!”
“Okay! I got this!”
“Huh?”
The changing room curtains were flung open.
Wise came out in her Wednesday underwear, magic tome in hand.
“No creep is any match for the Ultimate Sage’s magic! Just you wait—er, Masato?”
“H-hi.”
Wise cocked her head, giving him a long look.
Clearly confused.
“What are you doing?”
“Uh, well. Best to be honest, I guess? I saw this guy hitting on you, and then you both headed into this store, so I was checking up on you. That’s all!”
“Huh? Hit on? Me?”
“Yeah! That handsome dude was chatting you up!”
“Handsome? I guess that’s not…wrong…”
Wise glanced that way. The male model looked very surprised.
Seen up close, the male model’s chest was certainly…rounded…
“Wait…you mean…that’s a girl?!”
“Yeah. And she works here! If I’ve got a day off, I figured I’d look for some new clothes and was wondering where to go. Then I bumped into her, and she showed me the way.”
“…Is that all?”
“That’s all.”
Wise puffed out her chest, nodding emphatically.
“So then this whole thing is just…”
“You being a big dumbass and creating a fuss about nothing.”
“That’s what I thought. Ugh…”
“You’re such an idiot… Anyway, girls, he’s not a creep, just stupid. Sorry my party’s token moron had to bug you all.”
“Hmm, no prob. We get the picture.”
“Our mistake. Sorry!”
The girls holding Masato let go.
Glad that was cleared up, he let out a relieved sigh…
“So your boyfriend just got all jealous and followed you, huh?”
“That’s pretty obnoxious, but…hope you two are happy together!”
“Yo, wait, what…? Ah!”
The girls left, giggling. He wanted to cry.
“Masato, you pretended to be my boyfriend and followed me? Ew, that’s so gross!”
“I did no such thing! I’ve never claimed to be your boyfriend!”
Wise was cackling and making fun of him, but she looked a little bit red-faced… Maybe that was just his imagination?
“Anyway, glad that’s over with. Let’s talk rewards,” said Wise.
“Rewards? For what?”
“For me clearing up that mess and saving you! I think that earns me at least one accessory. On your dime.”
“Oh…yeah, fair. Just…keep it reasonable, okay?”
“Score! Lemme take a look. Come on, I wanna know what you think.”
He still had to pay for a haircut, so this was a big ask, but it was important to demonstrate gratitude.
Then again.
“Hmm, but…”
“What? You got a problem?”
“Buying a gift to thank someone is all well and good. But with you…”
“What, am I not good enough? I will punch you.”
“No, not that.”
“So?”
“I dunno about buying presents for someone who’s cool just walking around the store in her underwear.”
Wise had come flying out of the changing room in her bra and panties, and she had yet to put on any clothes.
“Huh? …AughhhhHHHHHH!”
“You only just noticed? Are you, like, actually dumb?”
“Sh-shut uuuuuuuup! This is…uh…y-your fault!”
“How?”
“If you’d seen me like this and reacted at all, I’d have figured it out by now! Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“Well, it’s our day off. I figured you were relaxing with a little light exhibitionism.”
“Go to hell!”
He was joking, of course. He’d just been too busy being physically restrained to deal with that.
“That makes this all your fault, Masato! I’m gonna kick your ass!”
“Lashing out to hide your shame?”
“That’s it! …Spara la magia per mirare… Morte!”
“Girls can be so unreasonable…”
The reaper bearing down on him looked vaguely apologetic.
Then again, if this helped her calm down, Masato was happy to soak up an instant death spell.
The coffin containing Masato was enveloped in the light of life.
“…Spara la magia per mirare… Rianimato!”
“Mm? I’m alive again?”
He opened his eyes…and was no longer in the clothing store.
Tall ceilings, stained glass, crosses… A church, apparently.
Medhi was smiling gently down at him.
“How are you feeling, Masato?”
“Not bad at all…but a little lost.”
“Unfortunately, our shlub of a Sage cast a spell on you, and you perished. Then the culprit, the most pathetic of Sages, dragged you to the church, and I revived you.”
“Why a church? She can cast Rianimato herself.”
“The reason escapes me, but either way, you’re back now. So…”
Medhi held out a hand.
“The fee for a church resurrection will be two thousand mum.”
“Aha. So that’s your angle!”
He turned his eyes to the pew and found the shlub Sage sitting sullenly.
“Wise…”
“Wh-what? You got a problem with me? I mean, sure, I think I probably went a bit too far, but…still, you shouldn’t have—”
“You remembered to put your clothes on! Good for you. Such a big girl!”
“Ugh, you suck! Fine. Not apologizing.”
Not only did she not apologize, but she slipped around behind him and ground her fist into his back. What a dame. It did not hurt at all.
“Masato, you’ve been revived. That incurs a fee, and you must pay up.”
“Nope. Not blowing my cash on your spite. You’re just joking, too. Right, Medhi?”
“No, I’m demanding appropriate compensation. I’m helping out at the church, volunteering my time. I revived you as part of my volunteer duties, so you’re required to pay the resurrection fee.”
“…Seriously?”
“Yes. It goes right here.”
Medhi held up the official church collections box.
When he still looked reluctant, Medhi’s smile grew steadily more sinister. “Okay! I’ll pay!” He forked it up.
Half his money gone.
“A haircut with the rest…seems unlikely. Damn you, Wise. I’ll get you back for this one day. Making me waste money…”
“I can’t hear you!”
“Geez. Still, Medhi, helping out at a church on your day off? That’s awfully nice of you.”
“I was shocked, too. I dragged your coffin in here, and there she was! Volunteering. Weirdo.”
“I don’t see what’s so surprising. Altruistic acts on your days off elevate your humanity—a most beneficial means of passing time.”
Medhi glowed like an angel.
She was bathed in heavenly light. “Ugh, blinding!” Wise, ever materialistic (between her shopping trip and retributive actions), was almost exorcised. As she should be.
Medhi gleefully watched as Wise writhed in agony then suggested, “Since you’re both here, perhaps you could join in?”
“Er, us…? Hmm…”
“If it went on our transcripts, it could be worth it, but…this is a game…”
“One must not approach volunteer work with an eye to compensation. But perhaps the game gods will offer up some reward?”
“The game gods? There aren’t—”
“Then let’s say admins instead.”
“Meaning…?”
“Ms. Shiraaase has gone home for the day, so our actions are likely being monitored by someone else. Someone we can trust.”
““Someone not Shiraaase…””
Masato and Wise both leaped on that point. Their heads went up.
If another admin was watching now…
And saw the players doing good deeds? And was considering a reward?
“…They might just…secretly boost our stats?”
“Or lower the odds of magic getting sealed?”
There was a chance.
At least you had to hope there was.
“Heh…I suddenly feel like volunteering my butt off!”
“Volunteering is the only thing on my mind! Let’s do it!”
“What should we have you do…? Oh, cleaning would be good. Would you two mind cleaning?”
““Okay! Volunteer cleaning it is!””
“I’ll hold on to your coats and valuables for you. Not to worry.”
““Thanks!””
Masato and Wise rolled up their sleeves, grabbed rags, and got to polishing! Crosses, altars, pews, and floors!
Cleaning all the fiddly metal bits was extra fun!
“Look, Wise! I’ve got this doorknob gleaming! I really feel like I cleaned it!”
“Targeting anything shiny! Even a crappy polishing job does the trick! Good idea!”
They threw themselves into it.
Meanwhile…
“I have to remain on standby in case anyone needs antidotes or resurrections. My job is to sit right here so I can respond at a moment’s notice. I am absolutely not just doing nothing. Heh-heh-heh.”
Medhi was seated languidly on a special priest’s chair, reading a book.
Nearly an hour later…
“Hah…hah…that was…a lot of volunteering…”
“Hahh…hahh…I did it…I cleaned everything…”
They’d cleaned themselves out and collapsed in the pews.
But their work had paid off. The entire church was gleaming. Filled with light.
“Good work, you two. I’m sure the game gods are delighted. That’s enough for today, so you can leave now.”
“We will! I’m tired, broke, and ready to head back to the inn and rest.”
“Same here… Medhi, you’re hanging around?” Wise asked.
“My shift is almost over, but I have to hand it to the next… Oh…”
A door in back opened. Someone was coming their way.
“S-so, you two head out! Quickly!”
“O-okay…?”
“Then, I guess we will…?”
Medhi was hastily pushing them away, so they left the church.
The doors slammed shut behind them. They heard Medhi racing back up the aisle.
Masato and Wise exchanged glances.
“…You thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yeah. Something’s up.”
This needed verifying. They opened the door a crack, peering in.
Medhi was talking to an actual nun.
“Medhi, thank you so much. You coming was such a big help.”
“I’m pleased to be of assistance.”
“When the priest suddenly took the day off, we were at a total loss. I can’t use antidote or resurrection spells, so we had to find a replacement Healer somewhere…”
“It’s a good thing I saw the request posted at the Adventurers Guild. I feel certain I was guided here.”
“You not only filled in for the priest, you also cleaned everything beautifully! You are a wonderful person. Like an angel!”
“I had the time, and it was no big deal. I’m glad you were pleased. Hee-hee.”
“Then I’d better take care of this reward. And of course, there’s a bonus for cleaning!”
“Oh, you shouldn’t have…but I can’t very well refuse, can I?”
A leather purse filled with coins exchanged hands.
Medhi took it with her best smile…
“Volunteer work, huh?”
“No eye to compensation?”
“…Erk.”
Masato and Wise each had a hand clapped on one of Medhi’s shoulders.
The entire reward went in the donation box, and they left the church behind.
“Calling your paid job volunteering. Wow, Medhi.”
“Taking credit for all that cleaning we did, huh? Wowww, Medhi.”
“D-don’t look at me like that! I always meant to donate it! And I was going to hand the cleaning bonus over to you later.”
“Working on your day off for extra cash. Wow, Medhi.”
“As greedy as you are evil. Wowww, Medhi.”
“Wise! That’s just mean! Argh. I’m sorry, okay? Let me off the hook!”
Not letting this chance go to waste, they kept teasing her as they headed toward the inn.
It was just past noon, and they were all getting hungry…
“Oh, there’s some food stalls!”
“Mm, those kebabs smell pretty good.”
“So they do! Let’s all eat together! I’ll pay! Look, they have drinks, too.”
“Make sure you order the most food for the most money.”
Free lunch! “Enjoy!” ““Thanks!”” Nothing better than a meal someone else was paying for.
“Now if I can just get Wise to waste some money, too, I’ll be satisfied.”
“Hey, don’t! I’m sorry I got mad and killed you, okay?”
“Oh, sorry. I seem to have actually paid for this out of Wise’s wallet.”
“Huh?! Why did you have my… Oh! You held our stuff while we cleaned! You never gave them back!”
“It just slipped my mind. So sorry about that… But don’t worry.”
“What?”
“I split the bill evenly between the two of us.”
“Proving this was premeditated! You’re so evil!”
Wise got the punishment she deserved, and Masato couldn’t be happier.
They walked on, squawking about this and that.
And reached their inn.
“I wonder what Mom and Porta are up to?”
“Mamako…is probably shopping. Bet Porta went with her. Poking around for items and materials,” said Wise.
“Yes,” agreed Medhi, “they’d both take an active approach to days off… Oh?”
When they reached their rooms, the doors were open.
Anyone here…?
“Wow! They’re all so cute! What do you think? Be honest!”
“Uh, yeah. They’re a good fit for us.”
“I like that one! A tail would look good on me.”
“Then best we don’t. I recommend the long-eared one that looks like me.”
“Ohh, I just can’t decide!”
It sounded like a conversation…
But it was all in Porta’s voice.
The trio peered around the doorjamb.
“Okay, Piita! You’ll have to decide!”
“I think you should do whatever you feel is best, Porta.”
“But I like them all best! Augh!”
Porta had all her stuffed animals laid out on the bed, including the one she usually kept on her shoulder bag. She was lying on the bed with them, flipping through a catalog.
Everyone grinned.
“Aha! So that’s Porta’s day off. Adorable,” said Masato.
“Picking things from a catalog, rolling around in bed—not a bad way to relax.”
“A moment of bliss, indeed. What could be better?”
“Mm. Adorable. I feel better just watching her.”
Soft cheeks pressed against soft plushies, rolling around on the bed with a blissful smile…
He could watch Porta do this for hours and hours.
“Hngg…I’ve been saving up my allowance…maybe I should start with this big bunny with the nice smile, like Mama… Mm?”
She finally noticed them.
“’Sup, Porta.”
“Oh…huh? …Eep…?!”
“We know how you feel. Go on! One, two…”
“Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!”
Porta let out the scream of her life, frantically grabbing all her animals and hiding them under the covers.
The bear, the cat, the fox—and then Porta herself, beet red, peeking out from her blanket. Too cute.
“M-Mahyahyo?! Whise?! Mary?!”
“Porta, I don’t have a little lamb. That name is all wrong for me.”
“Sorry to just burst in on you, Porta,” said Wise. “We weren’t trying to spy on you or anything, but the door was open…and, like, it was kinda hard to interrupt.”
“N-no, um, er…”
“I’ll be honest: We saw the whole thing. And heard it. It was all mega cute. Thanks for that.”
“Aughhhhhhhhhhhh… Ssss…”
There was a hiss as steam escaped her ears, and Porta was down. “Ack, I’m sorry! Real sorry!” If Masato had been in her shoes, he’d definitely have died. It was inevitable.
Clinging to consciousness, Porta looked up, teary-eyed.
“Sniff…I’m shorry I was acting weird…”
“Nothing weird about it! You were just enjoying your day off to the fullest! Right, Wise? Medhi?”
“Totally. Nothing better than kicking back in bed on a day off. Sooo…I’m gonna join in! Lemme have that cat!”
“I’ll join you, as well. Was it this fox that you had talking like me?”
“Aha! It smiles, but you can see the darkness lurking within! So Medhi. Oh, I’ve got an idea! …Spara la magia per mirare… Transformare!”
Wise cast a transformation spell, and both she and Medhi went poof!
And were now super fluffy. Costume Cat Wise and Costume Fox Medhi!
“How’s this? Pretty cool, right?”
“Life-size stuffed animals? I approve, Wise.”
“Whoa! Wise, Medhi, you’re both so cute!”
“Thank you, thank you. But we oughta put you in one, too! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!”
Cackling like the devil’s own minion, Wise cast the spell again.
Porta was now dressed like her favorite doll, Piita. Piita-Porta!
“Whoa! I’ve turned into Piita!”
“Then let’s get started! One, two…”
“Hah!”
Cat Wise and Fox Medhi dove into bed, hiding under the blankets with Piita-Porta. Everyone snuggling together, smiles galore.
Close-knit party members, rolling around in bed.
Surrounded by things they loved, doing whatever they pleased, enjoying every second.
This was right. This was the perfect respite.
“Okay, then Bear Masato’s join—”
“Huh? What’s wrong with you? Are you totally stupid?”
“This is a girls-only costume party. No boys allowed. Go away.”
“Fine…”
Rebuffed! He’d figured. The world did not allow you to dive into bed with girls and squeal.
“Right. Then I’ll just go and sulk, and waste the rest of my day off doing nothing, alone.”
“Don’t worry, Masato! You won’t be alone!” said Porta.
“Huh? I won’t?”
“There’s someone right there who’s just dying to spend the day with you,” added Wise.
“You should enjoy your day off together,” said Medhi.
“Right here…?”
Masato turned around.
“Mommy was just thinking how lonely she was!”
Costume Bunny Mamako was standing in the doorway, looking at them.
Tears gushed from Masato’s eyes.
“Argh…there’s nothing sadder than seeing your own mom in a plush animal costume… This is too much…”
“Come now, Ma-kun. Cheer up! Mommy will spend time with you. What should we do, hop hop?”
“Get that costume off now! We’ll talk then. But even with you back to normal, I dunno what there is to do…mm?”
His bangs had drifted into his eyeline again.
“…So what’ve you been up to, Mom?”
“Well, it was a nice day, so I did upkeep on all the clothes we don’t normally wear. Don’t you ever just want to give them some sun and let the wind blow through them?”
“Nope. Can’t relate.”
“Hee-hee. But that’s how it is.”
They were in the inn’s backyard. Masato on a chair, eyes on the inn’s porch.
On the clothesline was everything they normally kept stashed in Porta’s bag.
Sailor uniforms, school swimsuits…mostly Mamako’s costume collection.
Masato quickly looked away, fixing his gaze on the barber cape tied around his neck. Loose enough to let him breathe, tight enough so no hair could get in.
“It’s just…that doesn’t sound much different from what you always do.”
“I suppose it isn’t. But you know, I’m happiest just being a mom. So I thought it was a good day off.”
“I guess that’s how it is, too?”
“Mommy thinks so. And I’m ever so pleased you let me go snippy snip with your hair, Ma-kun! You haven’t let me do that since you were in grade school.”
“I do wish you’d stop using that baby talk term, but…that is you.”
“Yes, welcome to Mommy’s barber shop. Come on in.”
Mamako moved around in front of him to get a good look at his hair.
This involved leaning in, which meant the valley between her mommeries was suddenly in extreme close-up, almost engulfing his face.
“Hey?! Don’t…!”
“Oh? What?”
“N-never mind…”
She wasn’t deliberately doing this. So he just closed his eyes, pretending it didn’t matter. Letting it matter would be a failure.
He focused on negatives, calming himself.
Can’t believe I’m getting a mom cut at this age… If Wise and Medhi saw this, it’d be the death of me.
He needed a haircut. But no longer had the money for it.
And his mom had experience with these things. And she had the time.
Well, fine. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He’d piled up any number of excuses…but was gradually finding he didn’t need them.
It was sunny and warm, and his haircut was coming along.
The grass swayed in the breeze. Birds sang. Scissors snipped. All peaceful sounds.
Too peaceful.
“…What a nice day.”
“Yes. A nice, happy day.”
Her hand gently stroked his hair.
Over and over. Like he was a good boy.
It felt far too good. It wasn’t fair.
“…I guess days like this aren’t bad, either.”
“Yes…I wish every day was this nice.”
“Yeah…ugh, no, it can’t be! We’re adventurers. We’ll be back on the quests tomorrow! Don’t forget it.”
“Hee-hee. I know. Okay, Ma-kun, take a look. Is this how long you want the bangs?”
“Let me see…”
He took the mirror from her and opened his eyes.
Examining himself.
“Mm…I think a little bit shorter.”
“How much? Let me show you with the scissors. Is here good?”
“That’s too far. Just a little bit more, like, half a mill—hey?!”
He’d spotted someone in the mirror, on the inn porch.
Porta, smiling broadly…and Wise and Medhi patronizingly.
“How long have you been there?!”
“Oops!” Snip!
As Masato leaped to his feet, there was a snip…
And quite a lot of hair went fluttering down.
“…Uh…er…?”
“Ack! Masato, your bangs! Ugh, it’s ’cause you moved around too much!”
“That one was all you, Masato. RIP.”
“Waaay too much. Hmm…but maybe it could work?”
“It definitely says, ‘I got my mom to cut this for me.’”
“A hairstyle that screams ‘close-knit family.’”
“It could be a whole new you, Masato. You can be a new kind of Hero, one who everyone will know gets haircuts from their mom.”
“Go forth, young hero! Get a mom cut!”
The mom cut Hero’s adventures had just begun!
“G-get real! I’m taking another day off…or however many it’ll take until my hair grows back! I refuse to leave my room until then! Dammit!”
Masato’s forlorn wails echoed far and wide.
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