Chapter 3 Children Spend Their Lives Locked in Combat with Fun. Childhood Is a Battle Royale.
The trees around the giant fir stretched out their branches, creating platforms like the scaffolding on a construction site.
“Wow…we’re so high up!”
“Hey! Masato Oosuki! Don’t make it rock!”
“I ain’t scared at all! Heights don’t bother me!” Fratello said, shaking like a leaf.
Picking their way gingerly across these platforms were three children, now grown to around ten years old. They’d listened to their mothers, held their hands, and survived the painful shots. These results had led to their recognition as good children.
They’d been given new outfits to match their new sizes and were wearing warm work clothes over those, with safety helmets. It was scary up here, but the work was fun, too. They had treasure chests, jewels, bells—all kinds of ornaments to hang from the fir branches.
“Yo, Sorella, can you handle that one?”
“Sure, suuuuure. Got iiiiit.”
Child Sorella was totally fine with heights. She’d grown enough to equip her giant tome, so she was riding that around, hanging tinsel, wrapping it around and around the branches.
Tree trimming was proceeding smoothly.
“Looking good, everyone. We should have no problems starting the Christmas event.”
Shiraaase had a helmet on and was serving as the foreman. She looked up at the increasingly resplendent giant fir and nodded with approval. Mamako and Hahako were beside themselves with worry, afraid their children would fall.
“But should we just have started without them like this? The girls still aren’t back…”
“I suppose they’re still enjoying Thermo. We should have specified a time to regroup.”
“They’ll just have to accept that it’s their fault for showing up late. The schedule demands that we work while we still can. If we don’t start on time, parents the world over will be in trouble.”
“Trouble? Well, I suppose it is Christmas. Decorating the house and doing all that cooking just takes so much time.”
“And then there’s this,” Dark-Mom Deathmother said, emerging from the snow hut with a white bag in her arms.
Using her body to hide it from the children above, she opened the bag. Inside were three small boxes, one wrapped adorably in a pink ribbon, one in elegant paper and a blue ribbon, and one sloppily wrapped in newspaper and red tape.
“Oh, yes. We have to get presents ready!”
“One is from me. The other two are from Kazuno and Medhimama. I won’t say which is which.”
“It was a sudden request, but they both agreed immediately. One pretended she didn’t like the idea, but…”
“Tee-hee. I can imagine who. But we’ll have to do the same! This is a mother’s duty.”
“A mother’s duty…” Hahako looked grave. She gulped.
“I wish I could tell you to relax…but this is a Christmas present. It’s undeniable that your reputation as a parent depends upon it.”
“It pains me to say that this will be the first Christmas that Porta and I have spent together as a family. I threw everything I had into this present, trying to make up for all the loneliness I’ve caused her. So…Hahako, it’s your time to step up, too.”
“Yes, of course. I will be those girls’ mother. I’ll find the right gifts to make them happy even if I have to search the world! Even if I have to make a new world!”
“Hahako, you don’t want to spoil them too much. Tee-hee.”
Mamako smiled, talking her down.
“Hey! Grown-ups! What are you hiding?”
“I bet I can guess, but we’re done up here!”
“Mm. Job done.”
“All the tinsel’s huuuung. Unless you see anywhere that needs moooore?”
The tree decorations were, indeed, complete. The ornament at the top was still missing, but the giant fir was beautifully decorated, and glittered magnificently.
Shiraaase did a lap around the tree, inspecting it, and gave it the seal of approval.
“Then let’s get started. Eyes up, everyone!”
She rapped her knuckles against the trunk. As the kids gathered around the base of the tree, a warm light emerged from within.
The tree’s glow lit up their surroundings and beyond, sending a message of joy to all corners of the world.
A brief squeal, like a mild ringing in the ears.
Across Catharn, grown-up NPCs turned to look at the sky.
“Is that… Oh, I get it.”
All of them understood immediately.
The capital was covered in clouds, which soon began dropping white crystals.
“Mommy! Look! Snow! So weird!”
“Yes…you don’t usually get surprise snow. It’s getting cold! Let’s go inside. We need to put some warmer things on!”
The children had not yet picked up on the change. And the adults were letting them remain oblivious. It was best if they didn’t know.
Wouldn’t want to ruin it for them. While the children all frolicked in the snow, the adults exchanged tense glances.
Secret celebration prep was underway.
Even in the merchant city Yomamaburg, which stood in the center of the wastelands…
“A presentation worthy of the holy night is required. Snow will not fall here, but we must make our own snow. Adjust the hologram at once! We do have some time left, but that’s no reason to dillydally!”
“Manager! The outfits are done! We’ll need people to try them on…”
“Well done. This way.”
In the city’s largest casino, the manager stopped barking orders, smiled as warmly as Santa himself, and headed to his office.
Meanwhile, in Meema, home of the Matriarchal Arts Tournament…
“Meema hosts a parade of guards in costume every year! The children are looking forward to it! We must make it a success!”
“Then you’d better get cracking. I’ll mind the guard station for you. You guards go get ready for the parade!”
“That would help a lot. We’ll take you up on that offer. Come on, men! Hop to it!”
“What?” “Mommy, what’s happening?” “I don’t get it!” “Hugs!” “Hugs!”
“You don’t need to get it yet. It’ll be more fun later.”
The guards all followed the captain out. Growlette watched them go, shielding her kids from the frigid winds.
And in the coastal town of Thermo…
“Pocchi, I don’t mean anything by this, but could you wait here in the Mom Guild? I’ve got some urgent business.”
“Wait, Mom, I know what this is. Yeah, I’m your kid, but I’m also a childcare worker at the Mom Guild nursery, which means I’m like a dad to these kids.”
“Oh…heh-heh-heh. You certainly have grown! That’s a little sad, but Mom’s happy for you. Okay, Pocchi! Let’s make this a good one.”
“Yeah! The Thermo winter specialty—we’ll make it the best one yet! Come on, boys!”
“““Yeah!”””
Pocchi and the brutish childcare workers shouldered bundles of cables and raced off toward the tower dungeon. Their mothers and the setting sun watched them go.
The world was getting ready for Christmas.
“…Yeah, that’ll do.”
The snow hut had been cleared away and new furnishings installed near the base of the giant fir tree.
At the venue was a massive banquet table covered in elegant candelabras, and a brick fireplace was nearby. There were also enough comfortable couches to seat everyone. Dark-Mom Deathmother was seated on one of them, tapping and swiping away on her tablet. Her participation was strictly voluntary.
The style was reminiscent of Christmas parties in Northern Europe. Truly a scene that promised a most wonderful time…
“Heh, it’s perfect. Well, Masato? Have I impressed you yet?”
“Sure, Shiraaase, it’s ‘perfect.’ Except for the fact that there’s no ceiling or walls.”
“An intentional oversight to allow you to soak in the splendor of the locale. We have snow wards installed, never fear. And there’s one other feature to ensure the party is a success.”
Shiraaase pointed behind the giant fir.
A figure in red appeared.
“Ma-kun! I tried it on, but what do you think? It’s Santa Mommy! Mommy Santa! Hee-hee.”
Mamako was wearing a red-and-white Santa costume so skimpy, she seemed ready to spill out of it.
A vein throbbed on Masato’s face, but he forced himself to smile pleasantly.
“Uh, sure, it looks great. Totally.”
“Oh my! Ma-kun’s doing the calm before the storm.”
“Here you are, doing everything you can to make this a fun event, and he’s radiating hostility. You’ve got a lot of nerve, Masato.”
“It’s a normal reaction! Nobody my age would welcome their mother dressed as Santa…gasp!”
The giant fir was glowing with the light of punishment. Naughty children who dissed their mom’s cosplay would need to be reformed, starting over from the very—
“No, no, no, I didn’t mean that! I was just kidding!” His desperate pleas managed to talk it down.
“Th-the costume itself isn’t a problem! It’s just, uh…yeah, cooking! I just figured that if you’ve got a lot of cooking to do today, a different outfit would be more practical!”
“Oh, that’s right! We’ll have to start cooking soon or we won’t be ready in time for dinner! I’d like to prep tomorrow’s dishes while I’m at it. Hahako!”
“Yes, let’s make this the best meal yet.”
“Er, but if you could just change first… Nobody’s listening.”
The two moms ran into the kitchen that had been set up for this party venue. They were inspecting the available ingredients, formulating a plan of attack.
Clearly Christmas prep was going smoothly.
“So the moms are cooking… And what are you good little boys and girls doing?”
“I’m gonna do my best to ignore what she’s wearing, and help cook. If that helps me get designated as a good kid and grow more, all the better. Right, Amante?”
“I won’t! I’d never help a mother cook! Humph!”
“Oh, really? You and Hahako were getting along so well. Yo, Sorella, Fratello, what’s going on?”
“I dunnoooo. But I agree with Amante heeeere.”
“Mm. Ain’t about to help no moms.”
“All of you, huh? What gives? You holding a grudge about the shots or something? That can’t be true, right?”
The little Kings all rubbed their arms where the needles had poked them, avoiding his gaze.
Cleeeeeeearly holding a grudge.
“Sheesh, don’t be so childish. I guess you are children, but…”
“Three steps forward, two steps back. That’s how bonds are made. How about we make a different task for the child team? This way.”
Shiraaase pointed, and a door festooned with Christmas decorations appeared out of nowhere.
When it opened, there was a toy store inside. Its name? Hello Mama Toys.
Robots, dolls, stuffed animals, toy cars, toy swords, princess outfits. Even toys for older kids, and real weapons, armor, and items. The store was so big, they couldn’t see the far wall, and it was stuffed to the brim with enough toys to delight children of all ages.
“Wow…awesome…”
“This is the legendary toy shop that only opens on Christmas Eve, with doors appearing all over the world. Masato, Amante, Sorella, and Fratello—go explore this store!”
“Explore? Are we looking for something in particular?”
“Whatever you wish. I’m afraid you won’t be able to take it with you…but perhaps Santa will bring it to you later.”
“Santa…? Sorry, Shiraaase, we’re too old for that…”
“Santa will bring us presents?! Then we’ve got to get this right!” Excited.
“We’re good kiiiids, so he’ll definitely cooooome.” Excited.
“Mm. Gotta hang a big ole stockin’. Maybe a couple of spares.” Excited.
Guess the girls weren’t too old.
“Are they serious?”
“Masato, don’t go shattering the dreams of children. Now then, everything you do in the shop will be broadcast to your parents in real time. If the presents you wish for are placed by your pillows in the morning, that’s why.”
“I feel like you’ve just destroyed more dreams than I ever could, but okay.”
“Why are you still talking to her?! Masato Oosuki, let’s go!”
“Gah?!”
Little Amante was clearly done waiting, and she grabbed child Masato by the collar, hauling him bodily into the toy store.
Santa Mamako and Hahako watched them go, a little worried.
“Ma-kun! Mommy wants to go with you, but I’m just too busy! Be a good boy in the store, okay? Look after the girls.”
“Got it! Leave them to me!”
“Humph. No way Masato Oosuki could ever look after me! Hahako, we’re going in.”
“Yes. Have a good time. Be nice to everyone!”
With their mother’s approval, it was time for the children’s adventure.
The shelves were packed with toys. The aisles were packed with children and teenagers. “I want this!” “And this!” All having the time of their lives. Squeals and laughter echoing through the store.
As Masato and the little Kings made their way down the main passage, a five-year-old boy tripped and fell. But he was in too big a rush to stop and cry. He got right back up and ran off smiling.
“This place is so chaotic, it’s making my head hurt. I mean, I’m excited, too, but…even if our bodies are children, our minds are all grown up. We can stay calm—”
“What are those things over there?! I’m gonna go see!” Dash.
“Yo, Amante, don’t run off alone! You’ll get lost!”
“They’ve got magical girl costuuuumes! So cuuuuute! I wonder if there are any necromanceeeeers?!”
“Not you, too, Sorella?! Aren’t you already a necromancer? Why do you need a costume?!”
“Sonny—I can’t hold it in no longer.” Fratello was trembling.
“Fratello, seriously? Argh, go before we come in! Fine, I’ll help find the bathroom, just hold it a little longer.”
Not only could Masato not relax and look around, but he couldn’t even take two steps. “How do parents do it?” He had a lot of sympathy for anyone looking after little kids suddenly. But he was forced to play the role here.
First, the call of nature.
Once Fratello’s bladder was empty, they came back to the main shop…
“Mm? Is that…?”
…and found a girl wearing reindeer antlers. With a large shoulder bag. A very cute reindeer girl.
Two mascots dangling from her bag, Piita and the slightly larger Piitamama. Which meant this was definitely…
“Yo, Porta!”
“Huh? …Oh, Masato! And the Kings?”
When she turned around, it was definitely Porta.
“Welcome! This is Hello Mama Toys!”
“Thanks, good to be here…wait, why are you welcoming us?”
“I work here now!”
“Why would you be…uh, come to think of it, they did say doors opened all over the world. Did you come here from Thermo?”
“Yes! I did!”
“And you saw how busy the place was and volunteered to help out? Yeah, that’s just like you. You’re such a good girl! We were worried when you never showed up, but this explains it.”
“Sorry to worry you! I’m just fine!”
Reindeer Porta was all smiles.
But she was shaking her head really hard.
“Mm? What’s wrong? Are you denying that?”
“No, not denying anything! I’m fine!” Shake shake.
“Then why are you shaking your head? What’s that mean?”
“You’re imagining it!” Shake shake.
“No, no, that doesn’t make sense. What’s got into you, Porta?”
He put his hands on her soft cheeks, stopping the shaking. It stopped. “Are you okay?” “Yes!” She seemed okay.
But the moment he let go, she started shaking her head again, still smiling.
Child Masato frowned, puzzled.
“Porta, there you are. We were looking for you.”
“We finally found—oh, Masato! And the Kings! You guys sure got big while we weren’t looking. Kids grow up so fast!”
“Oh, it’s Medhi, and…who’s the lady talking like she’s somebody’s long-lost aunt?”
Two more familiar faces came darting over, expertly weaving through the throngs of other children.
The first was wearing a cape decked out like a Christmas tree, covered in ornaments. Medhi, dressed as a tree.
The other had her arms and legs sticking out of a papier-mâché sled. Perhaps it would be best not to meet her eye.
“Medhi, who is that?”
“No clue whatsoever.”
“It’s me! Wise! I wanna gripe about this costume more than anyone! But it’s my job! This comes with the territory!”
“R-right, okay. How noble of you. So you’re both working here, too?”
“Yep. Voluntarily helping out.”
“Yes, of our own free will.”
Sled Wise and Tree Medhi both proudly shook their heads.
“Uh-huh. I appreciate your candor. I take it you’re actually just after the wages, then?”
“No, we’re n—y-yes, exactly!” Shake shake.
“Not quite tr—totally true! Right you are!” Shake shake.
“Wait, which is it? Stop shaking your heads!”
“We’d like to—but nope! That’s our job!” Shake shake.
“Don’t be si—r-right! Our job!” Shake shake.
“How is that your job?”
They both sounded like they always did, but their actions weren’t quite adding up.
Sled Wise, Tree Medhi, and Reindeer Porta were all shaking their heads, waving their arms and legs around cryptically, but smiling brightly the whole time.
That was weird.
“Masato Oosuki! No time to stop and chat! We’ve got to pick the presents Santa will bring us! Come on!”
“Yo, Amante, stop pulling me. These three are acting weird…”
“Don’t worry about us! You kids focus on your presents.” Shake shake.
“Children have gathered from all over the world, and the shop is very crowded. If you don’t hurry, you might not have much of a selection left!” Shake shake.
“That would be baaaaad! Let’s get moviiiing!”
“Mm. Strike while the iron’s hot.”
“If you want to know more about anything in the store, just ask! I’ll explain it! Masato, this way!” Shake shake.
“R-right…”
It was bugging him, but the three child Kings raced off excitedly. Wise’s sled runners were poking him in the back.
“Quit pushing! By the way, where’s Mone? Is she here, too?”
“She’s around somewhere. She’s fine! Go on!” Shake shake.
“Okay, I’m moving. How are you shaking your head and pushing me at the same time?”
Seemed like his only option was to explore the shop awhile.
The children started walking—and only took a few steps before… “What’s that?!” “Don’t run off!” No force could contend with an unrestrained child. So excited, so carefree.
But behind them…
Argh, why can’t we communicate? What is this?!
It’s bad is what it is. We might slip further under her control…
Urp…I think I’m already losing…
Inside the girls’ heads, they were screaming.
Quit looking for presents and focus on us!
Do something quick before there aren’t any presents left to choose, Masato!
I have more important things to explain than our product line, Masato!
They had urgent news to tell him, but whenever they tried to speak, something else came out.
They had to try and communicate physically, but that was not proving effective.
Masato, notice! Right there! Below you! The real bad thing!
Sled Wise stared at her feet, willing him to look. It did not work.
The basement below the toy shop was where the stock was managed.
When kids picked out what they wanted, that info was broadcast live to their parents. And if the item was purchased, the orders would come in here, and the workers would spring into action.
Magical hands would pick up the items sold, quickly wrap them, and drop them down the one-way chute in the floor to a transport circle. In the blink of an eye, the present would be in the parents’ hands.
It was all unmanned and automated, moving swiftly and steadily.
Not one person here.
“…Begging for them…spoiling them by buying them…it’s a special day, so you’re extra spoiled, with lots of presents, that’s nice. Buy more. Buy more and more.”
No humans were present, but there was one being busy awakening to her powers as Dark God. She was floating in the air, muttering to herself.
“…Not enough spoiling out there. Wise, Medhi, Porta, stop resisting. Help me. I’ll lend you my power…”
Her hands reached toward the floor above, releasing a sweet scent, like condensed milk.
“Masato Oosuki. How about this? State your opinion.”
“Uh…sure, why not?”
“What kind of a response is that? Take this seriously!”
“Seriously, how?”
Child Amante was busy showing him a tiger-striped jacket. Most people would probably see it as the sort of thing a frumpy lady from Osaka would wear. If he was honest, Amante would hit him.
Maybe the staff could help…but the cosplay teens were swarmed with other kids, completely preoccupied. No getting anywhere near them. Couldn’t investigate their weird behavior, either.
Oh well. Time to man up.
“I think it looks great,” he said, smiling.
“There’s no way it looks great! I should never have asked you, Masato Oosuki. You’re not ready.”
Apparently, it had been a test. Girls were terrifying. Child Amante turned her back and stalked off back toward the shelves.
They were in the adventurer gear section. Even if their bodies were kids, their minds were still in high school. Toys didn’t hold much appeal. Being given a toy would probably make them want to cry.
Child Sorella and child Fratello were also looking to improve their loadouts and combing through everything on offer.
“Mm…they don’t have much in my styyyyle…”
“Men’s clothes are all too big! None of this is gonna fit me. But I ain’t never gonna wear kid clothes! This is a tough one…”
“Ohh, a tiger-striped string bikiniiiii…Amanteeee! Fancy thiiiis?”
“Mm. That’s one for her.”
“Are you both completely stupid? We’re picking presents here! What kind of parents would give their kid something like—I mean, Santa’s giving us these, and he doesn’t give bikinis!”
She seemed to believe she’d walked back her statement in time…
But little Masato heard her loud and clear.
“…So, Amante, you do know better.”
“Wh-what on earth are you talking about? Even if I did know that Christmas presents are given by your parents and not Santa, I wouldn’t say it out loud!”
“Yeah, still honest to a fault. You’re just doing the Santa thing because you’ve got no idea how to handle getting a present from Hahako, right? You’re running away.”
Child Amante’s smile froze. She was an open book.
“I—I am not! I would never run from a mother! I am she who rejects the concept of mothers, Anti-Mom Amante! So long as mothers exist, I will resist to the bitter end!”
“Yeah, time to stop resisting and face the music.”
Masato shook his head, expecting her to wheel around and yell at him.
But instead, Amante just sighed.
“…I wish it were that easy. But I was made to rebel. As long as that’s part of me, I can’t ever be someone’s kid. But if that part of me were removed, I wouldn’t be me anymore. So what am I supposed to do?”
“Well…”
Good question. He didn’t have an answer. Child Masato couldn’t think of anything to say.
Then…
“That’s easy! Just go get spoiled.” Sled Wise came sliding in with a blunt order.
“Have faith in the power of spoiling,” Tree Medhi said, like she was spreading gospel. “Spoiling is the salvation of all things. Lost children—go forth, and be spoiled.”
Finally Porta came dashing in with a cheery show of support. “Spoiling makes children and mommies happy!”
“Um…what’s gotten into you guys?”
“Everyone rebels against their parents sometimes. I sure did! Even if you want to stop, sometimes you can’t help yourself.”
“But that’s nothing to worry about. There’s a simple technique that will resolve all your problems. Spoiling. Just let her put her arms around you, let her accept you for you who are, and give yourself over to the beautiful spoils of love.”
“If children want to be spoiled, mommies are very happy! My mommy was! This is anecdotal, based on my own personal experience, but that makes it true! So…”
If you order in the next three minutes, you’ll get a special discount! Call the number on your screen! Act now! …was definitely the vibe they had going.
There was a sweet scent in the air over their presentation. This was suspicious.
“Ummm…have these giiiiirls…gone completely craaaazy?”
“Mm. Y’all were weird before, but now yer downright loonies. What do ya make of it, sonny?”
“Yeah. I mean, what they’re saying isn’t wrong, but doing a hard sell on spoiling is definitely odd… Hey, are you all—”
“Wait! There’s something behind them!” child Amante yelled. She grabbed a short sword from the rack nearby and threw it in Sled Wise’s direction.
The blade brushed past her neck, pierced the shadow behind her, and embedded itself in the shelf beyond.
And affixed to the tip of that blade…was what looked like an oversized spider.
Its thin legs thrashed a few times, and then it faded away.
“The hell is that thing?”
“It was clinging to Wise the Sage’s back and was stabbing her with its needlelike mouth. Since no gems dropped, that wasn’t technically a monster. Perhaps it was a fairy or the like?”
“If it looks like a bug, I don’t really wanna call it a fairy, but… Wise, are you okay now—yikes?!”
A second spider fairy was peering around Sled Wise’s shoulder. She certainly didn’t seem to be okay.
And there were more on Tree Medhi and Reindeer Porta’s shoulders.
They were injecting some sort of fluid into the girls, who were now moving closer with eerie smiles on their faces.
“Amante, here I am telling you all about the wonders of spoiling, and you react like that? What’s your problem?”
“You leave us with no choice. If you refuse to understand our message, we’ll have to beat some manners into you.”
“Yes! I think proper education is best! I’ll help!”
The three girls all struck fighting poses. Even Reindeer Porta took her mascot doll, Piita, off her shoulder bag, and it grew until it was six feet tall.
The spider fairies turned into syringes, which the girls and doll armed themselves with.
Time for combat.
“Yo! Are we seriously gonna fight brainwashed party members? And if we lose, we get injected?!”
“This is really happening! We’ve got to fight back!”
“Now, now, are you sure about that? We’re the Christmas costume girls, beloved by children everywhere.”
“Gather around, children,” Tree Medhi said, smiling broadly. “If you don’t do as we say, you’ll be going on the naughty list. Make sure you back us up!”
Children came rushing in from all around. “You can do it!” “Go, girls!” “Beat the naughty kids!” Like they were watching a stunt show. This was gonna be rough.
“We’re not the bad kiiiids! You’re so meeeean! I’ve grown up a bit and can use some maaaagic. Maybe I should just take everyone oooout.”
“Yeah, blow ’em all away!”
“Wait, wait, wait, do not under any circumstances attack the kids in the crowd!”
“Right,” Amante said. “Doesn’t look like those kids have fairies on them. These three are the only ones being mind-controlled.”
“Right, riiiiiight. Then Wiiiiiise, Medhiiiii, and Porta’s doll Piiiiiita. Those are our taaaargets.”
“Tch, fine, we’ll do it yer way.”
Child Sorella raised her hands, and a giant tome appeared above her head. Child Amante began quietly chanting a spell. Their magic was going to be the key to this battle.
The children’s toy shop battle began!
“Heh-heh! This is the perfect chance to pay you back for everything you’ve done! The punishment you’ve had—”
“Tacere!” Child Amante’s silence spell interrupted Wise.
Sled Wise’s magic was sealed. Tree Medhi’s magic was sealed. Reindeer Porta and Piita were unaffected.
“At least let me finish! Argh, I hate you!”
“This sort of thing is supposed to be Wise’s specialty…” Medhi hung her head.
“Don’t worry! I have items to fix magic seals! I’ll get them out right away!”
“Yeah, with Porta, they’ll recover quick…but I bought us some time! Everyone, spread out! Guerrilla tactics!”
The team of children nodded, and each ran off in a different direction.
Masato ran headlong down the shop’s lengthy aisles.
“I’ve gotta find something that’ll work as a weapon…oh! That should do it!”
Masato found a toy bazooka that fired sponge bullets. He immediately equipped it.
Then he peered around the corner of a shelf, like a hunter (despite being the one pursued). Where had Sled Wise and Tree Medhi gone? “Oh, there!” “He’s over here!” “Gah!” Random children saw him and started yelling. He beat a hasty retreat.
“Argh, do you think we’re playing hide-and-seek?! Knock it off, this isn’t a game!”
This was a serious fight. “Oh, armor!” Child Masato quickly equipped the transforming superhero belt and ran down the aisle.
It wasn’t clear if the transformation belt would actually function as armor, but like villagers always say, if you don’t equip it, there’s no point!
The four members of the kid team had to do battle with the three costumed teens.
We’ve got the advantage of numbers, but they’re far stronger…which means…
They had to gang up and take them out one at a time. He had to gather equipment and meet up with the rest of his team.
Where had the three little Kings gone? Child Masato poked his head out in the main aisle, looking for them.
“Aughhh! They found meeee! Whyyyy?!”
“Isn’t it obvious? The giant magic tome floating over your head is a dead giveaway.”
“We’re gonna give you all shots together! For now, behave.”
Child Sorella had been captured by Sled Wise and Tree Medhi.
“That idiot…”
The kid team was already down one member.
Then…
“There you are, Masato Oosuki!”
“Whoa, that sounds like Amante…but isn’t?!”
Someone had tapped his shoulder, but when he turned around, he found Mamako’s smiling face! On closer inspection, it was Amante, wearing a Mamako mask.
“D-don’t scare me like that! Where’d you even find that thing?”
“In the face armor section. Equipping everything you find is the key to any battle royale, so I went ahead and put it on, but…they make merch of her now? Just who is your mom becoming?”
“Don’t ask me. Anyway, I’m glad we met up. We’re gonna have to work together. You in?”
“We don’t exactly have a choice, so yeah.”
Child Amante nodded firmly. In her hands was a Mom-Idol-branded microphone.
“…Is that a weapon?” “If you press the button, music comes out.” Didn’t seem like it would do much damage.
Time to move. One eye on the throngs of children around them. Carefully.
“We just need Fratello…think she’s nearby?”
“She should be around here somewhere. Fratello’s quicker than Sorella, so she should be harder to catch…”
“Mahhh…leggooooooo…”
“Yeah, I think that’s a no.”
Hiding behind a promo sign, they took a quick look. Yep.
Child Fratello had found a very manly, badly damaged martial artist costume, but was currently held tightly in giant Piita’s arms. So was child Sorella.
Right by the shop entrance.
“We’re sunk…”
“Yeah, if they hold them there, they’re also blocking the escape route. I had a plan B involving running out of the shop and calling in the moms to help but…that’s no longer an option.”
The two of them would have to fight. Knowing the odds were against them. They’d have to grit their teeth and form a plan…
But as he racked his brain, a Mamako mask was thrust out toward him.
“…What?”
“Why not ask? We’re talking about Mamako Oosuki here. Even if you don’t speak directly to her, she might just notice and handle the situation. Maybe.”
“Mm…well, yeah, with my mom, that is possible…”
“Then go on. Let your mom spoil you.”
“Spoil?”
“What Wise the Sage said wasn’t that off base, was it? You said so yourself. And she said when we’re stuck, it’s okay to let our moms spoil us.”
“Yeah, I agree to an extent, but still…”
“Then show me how it’s done, Masato Oosuki. Or are you telling me to do something you can’t even do yourself? Really?”
She didn’t seem to be mocking him. Child Amante seemed serious.
It seemed like she was looking for a solid basis to answer the conflict raging within herself.
I’ve gotta let Mom spoil me? Seriously? Ugh, this is rough…
Little Masato wanted to help Amante out. He did, but…
But for an adolescent boy to just go get himself spoiled simply because someone told him to was a bit of a tall order.
But then he realized…
Oh…I guess that’s exactly her problem.
The thing he was stuck on was hard to explain. It was just a nebulous reluctance.
And that was the same thing the Heavenly Kings were struggling with.
If he could overcome this, he could tell them anything he liked, and be proud of it. He could communicate what really mattered.
So child Masato looked the Mamako mask in the eye.
“This is gonna be rough, but you leave me no choice. Here goes nothing! Mom—”
Instantly, the gentle notes of a xylophone echoed through the store. From the PA system.
“Everyone, it’s snack time! Wash your hands, then come on by!”
Mamako’s voice. “…That was fast…” Before her beloved son could even ask, she was already on the move, responding with uncanny timing.
The mom skill A Mother’s Snacks activated. “Where do we wash our hands?” “In the bathrooms!” The children all rushed off, headed for the bathrooms at the back.
The stampede of children swept Sled Wise and Tree Medhi up in it.
“Hey! There’s too many! I can’t move!”
“Now we can’t tell where Masato and Amante are!”
Perfect.
“Nice assist, Mom! Now’s our chance! Come on, Amante!”
“I’m not completely convinced, but I’m not about to blow this opportunity, either!”
Hiding in the crowds, little Masato and little Amante moved stealthily.
First, Masato attacked. He held up the sponge bazooka, taking aim…
And found two butts, coincidentally lined up right where he could easily target them. Bam, bam.
“Eep! Wh-what was that?!”
“Who did that?! That’s inappropriate!”
Two girls spun around, clutching their rear ends. But their assailant was already gone.
Instead, music played somewhere nearby.
“Do you hear that? Isn’t that the MOM-3 song?”
“Where’s it coming from… Oh, over there.”
Sled Wise and Tree Medhi peered down a nearby aisle.
The toy microphone was playing music and flashing lights.
This was a trap. Their backs were wide open. Two children crept up behind them.
And right in their ears…
““WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!””
““Aiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!””
Devastating Child Attack Number One. A scream right in the ear. Ears ringing, their eyes rolled up in their heads—and they were knocked out. Attack complete!
“Yes! Combination victory!”
“Only Porta left.”
Now for the final battle.
“Whoa! Wise and Medhi were defeated!” Reindeer Porta yelped. She’d come to check on them.
Giant Piita was still sitting by the entrance. Child Sorella and child Fratello had a firm grip on it, pinning it in place.
“Normally, we’d be the older ones. Can’t do anything rough to a younger girl.”
“But right now, we’re younger! So we can do whatever we want, right?”
“Er…wait, I’m the oldest? Wow! That’s a first! I’m so happy!”
“Good for you! Remember, Porta, if you’re happy…laugh!”
Devastating Child Attack Number Two. Relentless tickles!
Fingers assaulted her sides and the back of her neck.
“Eep! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha?!” Reindeer Porta let out a strained cackle and was soon rolling on the floor. But they didn’t stop! More tickling!
Ten minutes later.
“Please, no more… I give up…”
Her head slumped.
““““Victory!””””
The toy shop battle was over. The four victorious children gave each other high fives, celebrating.
“Only Amante and I actually did any fighting…” “Oh, doooon’t…” “Say that.”
They’d all won.
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