Chapter 4 “What Do You Mean, Spoil…Aughhh!” Said the RPG Boss. What? That Never Happened?
Child Masato, Santa Mamako, and Shiraaase were walking down the main aisle of the deserted toy store.
“Other than you still being in that Santa outfit, I’m genuinely grateful. Mom, you and Deathmother really saved us.”
“I had a feeling you were in trouble, Ma-kun. But there just wasn’t time to make anything, so I had to serve premade snacks… Oh, but I saved some for you! They’ll have to wait for tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow…? Oh, Christmas. I guess today is Christmas Eve.”
“Strictly speaking, it isn’t Christmas Eve yet. The fir tree decorations are still incomplete. Once the star is placed on top, we can make it Christmas Eve immediately…but first, this way.”
Shiraaase stopped before an EMPLOYEES ONLY door and held up her admin ID. The door unlocked.
Up ahead was a staircase that led down. Their footsteps echoed as they nervously descended to the stock management area. Dozens of one-way lines ran across the floor, and the magic hands that selected and wrapped stock were all at a standstill.
Nothing was moving. There was nobody here.
Shiraaase stroked the shelves, empty of merchandise, looking around her.
“Seems like all the presents have been sent out to parents around the world—I mean, to Santa Claus. We don’t need to worry about safe delivery. However…”
“The other matter is still a concern.”
Child Masato scrambled around, searching under the shelves, at the base of the magic hands, under the stairs, anywhere he could fit, but found nothing.
Santa Mamako was standing on her tiptoes, checking all the high places. “Nothing up here, either…” “Hey! Stop that!” He’d caught an unfortunate glimpse of her Christmas panties.
“Masato, you mentioned these spider fairies, but are you sure they were spiders?”
“They vanished pretty quick, so I couldn’t inspect them thoroughly, but that’s what they looked like. The spider part, at least. The fairy thing was just something Amante said.”
“I see, so they’re definitely spiders. Interesting.”
Shiraaase bent her knees, crawling around with child Masato. Checking carefully to see if any of these creatures were here.
“…Not often we see you taking things this seriously, Shiraaase.”
“I feel like that’s a slightly rude statement, but well…this is a serious situation. Not a matter that can be easily overlooked. It could be quite grave.”
“You’re right… It is Christmas, after all. And whether Hahako and the Libere Kings can become family depends on the outcome… We need to be careful and make sure nothing bad happens…”
“Spiders that enhance your desire to be spoiled…spiders…spoiders…spoilers…that’s such a forced pun! I can’t just dismiss it!”
“Is that what’s bothering you?”
Masato really didn’t care, but this appeared to be life or death for Shiraaase.
“Ma-kun, I can’t find anything that looks like a clue.”
“Me neither. I guess we’ll have to talk to the girls, but…”
Child Masato and Santa Mamako looked at each other and groaned in unison.
That was easier said than done.
When the three of them got back to the giant fir, they beheld a horrific sight.
“Please! Stop! Don’t be mean to Porta! Leave my adorable child alone!”
“Calm yourself. This is necessary.”
Hahako had her white hands extended, physically restraining the frantic Dark-Mom Deathmother.
Porta, Wise, and Medhi lay before them. The shop costumes had been removed, but their hands were bound behind their backs, and they were placed on their knees on the snow.
None of them looked happy about this, but the three Kings were standing in front of them, all holding a mug and a spoon in each hand.
“If you don’t want to suffer longer, tell us what you know,” demanded child Amante. “This is your final warning.”
“I told you already! If you want us to talk, you’ve gotta spoil us first!” shouted Wise.
“How did you three end up like thiiiiis? What haaaappened?”
“Why should I talk to people who don’t even understand the benefits of spoiling?” replied Medhi.
“Porta, where’d Mone go? Spit it out,” said child Fratello.
“Mone is fine! Don’t worry about her!”
“Sigh…you leave us with no choice. Torture it is!”
Child Amante stirred the contents of the mug. She carefully scooped up a spoonful of black liquid.
“W-wait, what the heck is that?!”
“You’re not going to poison us, are you…?!”
“Nooo! Please don’t!”
No mercy. Three hands reached out, squeezed the brainwashed girls’ noses, and the moment their mouths opened, in went the spoons!
“““Blehhh.…so bitter…”””
Oh, did they suffer.
“What are you guys even doing?”
“See for yourself.”
Masato took the proffered mug and sniffed it. Then he took a sip of the black liquid.
It was black coffee. Very grown up.
“They keep going on about how sweet spoiling is, so we’re giving them something bitter! Hoping the two flavors will balance out and they’ll go back to normal.”
“Argh! Sweets! Give me something sweet! I don’t care what! My mouth is dying!” wailed Wise.
“Sheesh, you’re still going on about that? Enough already!”
“Amante, here.”
Masato shoved a spoon in little Amante’s mouth. “Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitter!” Massive damage to her ten-year-old tongue. She was defeated.
Either way, he didn’t like seeing his party trussed up. Masato and Dark-Mom Deathmother untied all of them.
They then handed out Christmas cupcakes Santa Mamako had made, to purify their mouths. The girls were delighted. “Spoilerifically sweet!” It seemed like they’d behave themselves as long as the sweets kept coming.
“So no improvements here. Ugh… What do we do? They were injected with something, so I think they need an antidote, but—”
“Don’t be ridiculous. We don’t need any antidotes! We’re not poisoned at all!”
“In my opinion as a specialized healer, there’s no need for an antidote.”
“I also don’t think we need to use recovery items!”
“And you’re the three people in charge of all the party healing, so…we’re at a loss.”
“Don’t worry! I, Shiraaase, can infooorm you that I have an idea.”
Shiraaase stepped forward confidently. So confidently, it was extremely worrisome.
“We must bet on a Christmas miracle! It is Christmas, after all. A most wonderful time of year! Don’t you agree? You all agree, right?”
“So you have no plan…”
“It’s agreed, then. Place the last ornament and transform the giant fir into a true Christmas tree. The Christmas event will officially begin! …Porta, would you help?”
“Yes! Christmas is a time for sweets and spoiling, and I’m happy to help with that!”
Her motives were unswayed, but she was cooperating. Porta opened her shoulder bag, and the sail-sized gold star shot out.
Child Sorella was in charge of placing it. They tied a rope to the star, dangling it from the giant tome, and carried it to the top of the fir.
“Masatoooo! Is this gooood? What do you thiiiink?”
“A bit to the right! A bit more! Perfect! If you just set it—”
There was a squelch, and the gold star was docked.
“That was a creepy sound…”
“Yeaaah…”
They had not rammed the tip of the tree up the star’s butt. They’d placed it properly.
Ornaments, tinsel, and the star. The three decoration stages were done, and the giant fir became a Christmas tree.
Somewhere in the distance, they heard bells ringing in celebration.
In that moment, the world officially welcomed Christmas Eve.
The sun set, night fell, and lights brighter than the stars flickered to life all across the ground.
These lights were Christmas trees. Radiating out from the giant fir, across the Motherest Mountains, all trees transformed into Christmas trees.
Lighting up in all kinds of colors, from the highest peaks to the valleys below, across the world, spreading farther and farther.
“Wow…I figured Christmas was just for kids, but if you go all out like this, it is pretty impressive.”
“We’re just getting started. The Christmas event has only just begun. Now, let’s go demand a miracle or two or three. No being a tightwad, make it snappy.”
“I feel like if you put it like that, the spirit of Christmas will just get mad at you…”
The first miracle occurred.
All the bells on the giant fir began to ring. A joyous sound.
And as they did, little Masato’s body began to grow.
“Oh! I’m growing!”
“You didn’t exactly behave yourself in the toy shop, but the four of you went around together, so you must have registered as good children. How very generous.”
“Thanks for keeping the bar so low! Come on! Let’s make this the last spurt and be back to normal!”
Masato strained every muscle in his body, willing himself to get bigger.
The child clothes grew very tight, with top, bottom, and underwear all ripping!
Masato was back to normal! He had regained the form of a fifteen-year-old boy! …Albeit nude.
“Augh, noooooo! This is baaaaad!”
“It’s a bit…” Avoid.
“…hard to look directly at…” Avoid.
“I-I-I-I’m not looking!” Glance.
While the girls all looked away, Shiraaase approached with a ruler. “Stop that!” “No?” “What a shame.” Santa Mamako had whipped out her handbook to record her son’s growth, but he forbade that, too.
Whatever. He hastily donned the gear Porta was throwing him, and he was back to normal.
Mm. Wait. If I’m back to normal…are the Kings?
Had they ripped out of their clothes, too?
Amante’s sleekly muscled body, bursting out…Sorella’s significant assets, spilling free…Fratello’s modest behind, shaking…
If he just glanced in their direction, he might well see all of that!
“Tee-hee. Masato.” Grin.
“No, I’m not thinking anything weird! Please. Trust me!”
Hahako’s face had appeared less than an inch from his, and that smile was definitely not a genuine one. It was terrifying. Behind her the Libere crew were hastily getting dressed.
All three were back to normal as well.
“We’re all old enough that we don’t need a mother anymore! What a relief.”
“But we definitely still qualify as kids. At any rate, our main problem has been dealt with. Hooray for Christmas miracles. And following on that, can we get—?”
“Oh, Christmas tree! These girls are acting very odd! Could you please cure them?”
“That’s what I was about to say, but fine.”
The giant Christmas tree answered Santa Mamako’s request.
Its glittering limbs rustled, and three human-shaped cookies came floating gently down. One to Wise, one to Medhi, and one to Porta.
“Oh, I know these! Christmas cookies! Um…g-gin something.”
“You clearly have no idea. These are gingerbread men. A mildly sweet cookie with plenty of ginger mixed into the dough. Sometimes they’re even hung from the tree.”
“What a nice smell! I bet these taste good! I can’t wait to try them!”
They all took a big bite.
“““Mm!”””
Squeals of delight echoed all around, and they took another bite. And another. As they devoured their cookies…
Their eyes suddenly went wide.
“Mmph! I fink I’m mmph mmph head is mmpph mmmph at last!”
“I believe mmph mmph we can talk mmph mmph Masato mm-mm-mmph listen mmph!”
“Mo-mmph-ne-mmph is in mmph mmmphhh trouble!”
“How about you talk when your mouths are empty?”
Munch, munch, gulp.
Then the three girls swarmed Masato, beside themselves.
“Listen! After we split up in Thermo, it all went wrong! Mone’s in a real bad state! She’s seriously messed up!”
“Calm down. How bad are we talking?”
“Her cravings went wild! She’d been trying too hard to go without spoiling, and couldn’t hold back anymore! I think something’s affecting her mind, too.”
“Mone’s lost control? Uh-oh.”
“And then a hole opened in her chest and we were all sucked in!”
“And next thing we knew, we were in the toy shop and being forced to work! We were under some pretty intense mind control! And why didn’t you notice?! You’re so stupid, Masato!”
“Don’t blame me! I thought something was up, but you kept saying you were fine! I figured out you were brainwashed eventually, so let me off the hook here! Also, where is Mone now?”
“She’s right over there,” Hahako said, pointing to the top of the giant Christmas tree.
A girl was floating in front of the gold star.
“Whoa, this is amazing! The origin of Christmas! Spreading spoiling across the world! This is what I wanted…”
He knew those clothes. But the gaping hole in her chest was wholly unfamiliar.
It was Mone, with three sets of bat-like wings on her back.
“Um, what the hell is that? Since when does she have wings? And she’s flying?! …Argh, and I’m supposed to be the hero of the heavens! I’m kind of jealous, honestly!”
“Masato, you idiot! This is no time for jokes! Hey, Mone! What are you doing?”
“Dark God Mammone! Stop fluttering around and come down here!”
Mone reacted to that name, glancing their way—but only momentarily.
She reached her arms out toward the gold star. The air in front of her trembled and was sucked into the hole…and the gold star grew distorted. Before long, it also disappeared into the hole.
The bright glow of the giant Christmas tree began to fade.
“Oh no!” Dark-Mom Deathmother wailed, firing up her tablet. “At this rate, Christmas will end! Shiraaase!”
“I am aware. We must stop her.”
Shiraaase opened her own device and began tapping on her keyboard.
“What…is this?”
“Removal of the decorations signals the end of Christmas!”
“If it ends before you achieve the most important goals, there’s no point! For now, Hotta and I will use our admin privileges to delay the end of event processing.”
“The programming is far too complicated, so maintaining the status quo is the best we can do! That doesn’t solve the real issue. Everyone, hurry! Retrieve the gold star and put it back where it belongs! That’s the only way to save Christmas!”
“If Shiraaase’s so worried she’s stopped calling you Deathmother…r-right, we’ll do something ASAP!”
They had to recover the decorations Mone had inhaled. Their goal was clear, but lots of problems lay in their way.
She was their friend. And floating high above them.
“Masato Oosuki! Your attacks will hit! Knock her out of the sky!”
“Don’t be ridiculous! That’s Mone! I can’t hurt her!”
“But why noooot? She’s ruining Christmaaaas. She deserves to be mildly blown uuuuup.”
“Um, Sorella? How exactly do you mildly blow someone up?”
When Masato did nothing, Sorella hopped aboard her giant tome, flying up to Mone.
“Mwa-ha-haaaaaa! Mone isn’t the only one who can flyyyyy! I’m gonna get a biiiit rough, but don’t worry about thaaaat. Spara la magia…”
“I don’t mind. In fact, I have no mercy for any kids who don’t know how to be spoiled.”
“Huh? Gah!”
Mone was suddenly right next to her, burying her fist in Sorella’s gut.
The blow was so hard, it knocked Sorella out. She was tossed aside, and she and her tome went into a tailspin, falling toward the ground.
“Sorella?!” Amante tried to run to her, but…
Hahako reached the landing zone first and gently caught her.
“Hahako…well done! I’ll thank you on Sorella’s behalf.”
“Tee-hee. You’re welcome. Can you tend to her wounds? I’ve got something to take care of.”
The warm smile she directed toward her children froze over, and Hahako drew her twin Holy Swords.
Santa Mamako tried to stop her, but it was too late. Hahako bounded up the limbs of the giant Christmas tree, hurtling toward her foe.
“Yay! Hahako! Come on! Hahako!”
“Oh my, you certainly seem excited. But what you’ve done is not so easily forgiven. You must be punished.”
Hahako unleashed her full strength. Two attacks struck Mone, one crimson, one navy blue, forming a cross that ravaged her body…or should have.
But when she raised her arms with unbridled fury—someone grabbed them, stopping her.
“Huh…?”
“Tee-hee! Hahako! Rubrub! Rubrub! Mwa-haha!”
Hahako’s arms were pushed back, her chest exposed—to Mone’s cheek rubs. Very clingy. Inseparable.
“I knew it! You’ve got so much spoiling to give, Hahako! So much mom power! You’ve gotta have a mom to spoil you! Rubrub!”
“H-hey, don’t…what’s going on…my strength is…draining…”
Hahako sprouted white hands all over, trying to peel Mone off.
But countless black hands emerged from Mone’s wings, grabbing and inhaling the white hands.
All strength left Hahako’s body. Still entwined with Mone, they fell…and hit the snow together.
“You’re kidding… She beat Hahako?!”
“You’ve gone too far, Dark God Mammone! Hah!”
“Knock it off, ya darn fool! Mahhhhhh!”
Amante and Fratello threw themselves into the snow cloud raised by the impact of their landing.
Sword and fist swung toward the figure within. Both attacks hit home!
The impact of the blow cleared the snow cloud and sent Amante and Fratello flying backward.
And Masato saw…
“Uh, Mone…? What the…?”
The clothes she’d been wearing were gone. She was now decked in the garb of a Dark God, manifested from the power pouring out of her. Shield-like, scalelike, jade-colored armor had brushed aside the girls’ attacks like they were nothing.
There was a carefree smile on Mone’s lips. And a single horn on her forehead.
“Unspoiled children’s attacks won’t work on me! This is a breeze!”
“Mone, what is going on with you?”
“She must have inhaled spoil energy from Hahako and converted it into sustenance… A-anyway…Wise!”
“I know! We’ve gotta make her stop! One solid blow and—”
“Oh? I can sense even stronger spoiling power! Where is it coming from? Over here?”
“Where are you going, Mone?! Come back and face us!”
Maybe she’d lost her memory. She was certainly in full-blown Dark God mode. Dark God Mammone didn’t even glance at Wise and Medhi. She started circling the base of the giant Christmas tree.
“Around here somewhere… Oh, here!”
She stopped suddenly, digging into the snow…and pulled out a white bag.
The bag of presents. Dark-Mom Deathmother had buried it there so the children wouldn’t find it.
“Wow! Wow! There’s so much spoiled energy in here! It’s all mine now!”
“Mone, stop! Not that! Those are for…!”
“Wait, don’t do that! Those are important…!”
But it was too late.
The hole in Dark God Mammone’s chest inhaled the bag…and when they came running, it inhaled Santa Mamako and Hahako, too.
The rest of the party froze. Their brains were unable to process what they had just witnessed.
“Mwa-ha! So good! So good! I need more! More more more!”
Dark God Mammone’s body writhed with ecstasy, and she flew up into the air, arms spread wide.
Meanwhile, in a home in the Catharn capital…
Sitting around a table, decked out for Christmas Eve, a mother and a young child traded looks of confusion.
“Mommy, why did it stop snowing?”
“Hmm, good question. Everything is usually covered in snow during Christmas here.”
“What happened to the Christmas tree in the other room? Why did it stop glowing?”
“Good question. I thought that was odd…but don’t worry. Daddy’s looking at the tree. You hurry up and eat! Santa’s coming today, so you need to go to bed early.”
“Mm! I’m eating!”
The mother patted her son’s head as he munched on a meatball. Then she got up and headed to the bedroom she and her husband shared.
“It feels like everything’s going wrong…I just have to make sure I can get him his present.”
She was checking the present hidden in the closet, just to be sure.
But when she looked in her room, the closet was open—and the window.
A box wrapped in a blue ribbon was floating through the air, out the window.
“Wha—but why?! Stop!”
She ran to it, leaning out the window, desperately stretching her arms out—but it was out of reach.
“Wh-what’s going on? What’s the meaning of this?”
Then the mother saw Christmas presents floating through the air all over the city, flying down the streets to the north. Away from their homes.
“Mommy, what’s wrong?”
“Gasp…n-nothing! Be a good boy and don’t look outside. If you’re naughty, Santa won’t bring you a present!”
“Okay!”
She hid the truth as best she could. It would never do for the children to find out.
This was not the only such mother. Parents the world over were reeling in horror.
Helplessly watching as their precious memories were snatched away.
Back at the peak of Mount Motherest…
Presents had flown in from all directions, and Mone had inhaled them all.
“Hooray! So many! I feel so fulfilled!”
When she swallowed the last of them, Dark God Mammone was inhaled into her own hole…and vanished.
Silence fell. Nothing but silence.
Masato was on his knees. He hadn’t planned it. It had just happened.
“Uh…what the…?”
“Masato! No time to collapse! Get a grip!” Dark-Mom Deathmother yelled. She was running her fingers over the tablet screen, sparing only a brief glare in his direction. “Accept the situation! Mone has gone full Dark God! She’s craving spoiling and happily stealing it! And she’s inhaled both Mamako and Hahako! This is really happening!”
“Y-yeah…I know that, but…”
“So what about it?” Shiraaase said. “Go on, if you kids want to have a Christmas party without the grown-ups, go right ahead. We’ve got the party venue all set up and ready to go.”
This was unusually cold, even for her. She must really be buried in work.
But it helped him gather his wits.
He left a fist print in the snow.
“Oh, we’ll have that Christmas party. With our moms.”
Masato got to his feet.
He turned to his comrades. Wise had been standing, stunned, but she slapped her own cheeks, snapping herself out of it. Medhi had been sitting down, but she forced a smile and got to her feet. Porta quickly started taking recovery items out of her bag, checking her inventory, nodding earnestly.
They’re good to go. Next…
The three Kings were still sitting on the cold snow. Amante was a Magic Fencer and had access to basic healing spells, so she was busy tending to Sorella’s substantial injuries. Fratello must have suffered some damage during the attack as well. She was clutching her arm, waiting her turn.
Amante shot Masato a look that said, “Don’t mind us.”
It looked like the four members of Masato’s core party were the only people going anywhere fast.
“…Right, listen up, guys. I just wanna say this before anything else.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’ve got no plan. You never do,” said Wise.
“And somehow it’ll all work out, just like it always does,” added Medhi.
“Yes! That’s how we do things!” agreed Porta.
“Are we really just improvising our way through every adventure? Yeah, maybe you’re right…”
That slapdash approach felt welcome. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders. But he let the smile fade.
“We’re gonna go get Mom, Hahako, and all those presents back. But Mone vanished, and we don’t know where she is. We have no idea where to even begin. Which means…we’re gonna have to depend on others.”
“Wow, is that not something a hero should say while trying to look like a bad ass.”
“I know! Shut up. Anyway, it’s worth a shot!”
Masato moved over to the giant Christmas tree and put his hands on the trunk.
Betting on a Christmas miracle.
I may not be the best kid, but please. Tell me how to reach my mom. That’s the only Christmas present I need this year.
In the face of his true, heartfelt desire, everything else was forgotten.
And his prayer was answered.
“……Mm? What?”
The giant Christmas tree gently swayed. Several hook-shaped, red-and-white-striped staves descended between the glowing branches toward them.
“These are…I’ve seen them before, but… Professor Medhi, you know everything. Explain.”
“Candy canes! Like gingerbread men, they’re often used as edible tree decorations.”
“Ohh, candy?”
He picked up a candy cane and gave it a lick. It was sweet. Minty.
“But what do we do with them? Will the sweetness lure Mone back? Doesn’t seem like it…”
“Masato! I think I know! We do this!”
Porta took a candy cane, stuck it in the snow, and let go.
The candy cane fell over, pointing to Dark-Mom Deathmother.
“See?”
“O-oh! I get it. Like when you go whichever way a stick points you? Hard to believe this will just show us the way…”
“Then we’ll just have to prove it! Porta, can you do that a few more times?”
“Okay! I will!”
Porta lifted the candy cane again and let go. Once again, it fell pointing at Dark-Mom Deathmother. And a third time. Still all Deathmother.
The fourth time she tried leaning it the other way so it wouldn’t fall toward Deathmother…but it did a funky spin and somehow ended up pointing at Porta’s mom anyway.
“I thought so! The tree gave us these candy canes. They’re a sweet item that points toward the wielder’s mother.”
“Of course those canes are sweet! They’re made of candy!”
“Shiraaase, shut up and work. Anyway, this means…”
“It’s all you, Masato. Oosuki family bonds, take it away!”
“I don’t think this is something only Masato can do, though. The stolen presents included ones Kazuno, Medhimama, and myself prepared. If the canes can detect a mother’s feelings, they’ll show you girls your way forward, too.”
“What, really? My mom actually got me a present? No way! Next thing you know, it’ll be snowing in… Oh, I guess it is snowing.”
“Well, if that’s the case, that’s all the more reason to get them back,” said Medhi.
“Yes! I really want to get my mommy’s Christmas present back!”
Wise was playing up her tsundere act, but even she craved her mother’s affection.
Everyone lined up and dropped their canes…and they all pointed the same way. Toward a gate shaped like an upside-down J—a gate opened in space itself, leading somewhere else entirely!
It was really narrow.
“What the—! How are we supposed to fit through that?”
“Yeah, even I can’t do it…not ’cause I’m flat-chested or anything!”
“Wise, this is no time for friendly fire… Especially on yourself.”
“Oooh, what do we do?”
At least get the flat girl through! He tried pushing…
“Ow! My face! My butt!”
But it didn’t work. He had a feeling it wouldn’t.
But Masato had no other ideas.
“Sheesh, I guess you can’t do anything without us.”
At this display of arrogance, they turned to find the Libere Kings, all healed up and wielding candy canes.
Three more canes fell toward the cane-shaped gate. The gate expanded.
“Oh…”
“Humph. I don’t need to explain this, but…”
“We’re not trying to save Hahakoooo. But we do want to pay Mone back for what she diiiiid. Get iiiit? I think it’s worth explaining this tiiiime.”
“Mm. What she said.”
“You all know perfectly well these items lead you to your mother, but…fine, we’ll go with your version.”
There were now seven of them. They were probably, no, definitely the most powerful party in the world, the undefeatable heroes.
“Please, everyone. We have to make this Christmas event a success. For the people of this world…and so the children I personally messed up can find themselves a loving family and lead happy lives. Their fate is in your hands.”
Dark-Mom Deathmother made no effort to hide the desperation in her plea.
The Libere Kings seemed to want to respond, but they turned their backs instead. Masato nodded on their behalf.
They then traveled through the candy-cane gate!
But it was still very narrow. “So not cool…” They had to form a single line and then raise both hands over their heads, mimicking the gate’s shape, sidling like crabs through it. Like real heroes.
“Masato Oosuki! A moment, please.”
“What’s up, Amante?”
“I feel like we could have fit through without raising our arms above our heads.”
“That is a good point. I realized after going through that it would have been much easier if I’d left my hands at my sides.”
At any rate, there was a town on the other side of the gate.
The streets were paved with cookies. The planks in the walls were chocolate. There was a river of soda. Overpoweringly sweet smells wafted in from all directions.
“Whoa! It’s a candy town! This is amazing! This is the best thing ever!”
“It is impressive, but…we can’t really celebrate like Porta is,” said Wise. “We’re old enough to be worrying about calories…”
“I’m against obesity and cavities, and sugar won’t help your boob size. You’re making the right decision,” Medhi said, smiling.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m just gonna ignore you.”
Masato took a peek inside one of the houses, rude though it was. There were candy people inside.
A mother cuddling with a child, another child getting fed, another on a lap pillow…sweet spoiling everywhere.
“She gathered all the sweeeeetness, and made herself a dream toooown.”
“It’s sickly sweet. Nothing manly here! Right, sonny?”
“Don’t worry, Fratello. The passionate twist we crave is about to arrive.”
As they headed down the road, a shrill insectoid whine came from all directions.
Spider fairies. Forming flying battalions, their barbed protrusions thrusting forward.
“Masato, it’s those things! They attacked us at the toy store and placed us under their control! Since when do spiders fly?”
“I dunno much about spider biology, but I know these things suck. Don’t let them stab you!”
“Recovery magic won’t heal you if you get hit. You can balance out the saccharine secretion from the stab with less sweet foods. That’ll allow you to recover a bit, but…”
“That’s why I brought these from the kitchen the mommies were using!”
Porta reached into her shoulder bag and triumphantly pulled out…green peppers. The enemy of children everywhere. The green bells of spite.
“That’s not ‘less sweet,’ it’s straight-up nasty!”
“It’s like a punishmeeeeent. If you don’t wanna bite into a raaaaaw pepper, then make sure none of these things hit youuuuu.”
“Urp…I don’t like green peppers, either, so I’ll run as fast as I can!”
“You’re still a kid, Porta. Not me. I ain’t afraid of no peppers.”
“Then you can carry them, Fratello! Please! Here!”
Porta happily held them out, clearly loath even to have them on her person.
Fratello’s dazed eyes focused momentarily on the peppers, and then she spun on her heel.
“She ran for it.” “Totallyyyyy.”
Right toward the spider fairies.
Fratello made the first attack, putting her fear-boosted speed behind it.
“Mah!”
Her battle cry was always disproportionately adorable, but her fist struck a squadron of spider fairies and pulverized them. However…
When the needles in their mouths shattered, the air filled with the smell of condensed milk, and a thick white fluid splattered all over Fratello’s face.
She turned back to them, eyes glistening, lips quivering.
“Sonny, I’m all sticky.” Ooh-lah-lah.
“Y-yeah, I can see that. Just…don’t look this way. Someone’ll clean you up later.”
“You’re a mess, Fratello! Attack better!”
“Fiiiine. I’ll show you how it’s doooone. Mwa-ha-haaaaa.”
Fratello was distracted by the goo and had failed to notice more spider fairies approaching. Amante saw this and was on them in a flash, shattering the cookie pavement as she leaped forward.
“You just gotta watch those needles! Like this!”
She unleashed a flurry of stab attacks, piercing one spider fairy after another. “Oh, they’re stuck…” One spider fairy after another wound up on her blade.
Her rapier was now a spider kebab.
“Skewed spiders, anyone? I’m not grilling this with any kind of marinade.”
“You want them griiiilled? Then how about a little fiiiire? …Spara la magia per mirare… Fuoco Fiamma!”
“Er, wait—!”
Sorella’s spell activated. The skewered spider fairies were slow roasted over an open flame. The smell of baked goods filled the air.
But the heat made the needles shatter. Splat.
Her face covered in white goo, Amante looked absolutely mortified. Sorella scooped up a finger and tasted it, her bleary eyes filled with bliss. They both turned and walked right toward Masato.
“M-Masato Oosuki! This isn’t what it looks like! It’s an accident! Just an accident!” Ooh-lah-lah.
“Masatooo! Look! Look! I’m all stiiiicky! Mwa-ha-haaaa!” Ooh-lah-laaaah.
“I get it already; stop trying to make me look! Wipe it off!”
“Honestly, what are they doing? Medhi, let’s clean this up.”
“Yes. We are pure, so we’ll clean this right up…or I’d like to, but—”
“Whoa! Careful, everyone! There’s a lot of spider fairies coming! From there and there and everywhere!”
Spider fairies were emerging from the soda river, the chocolate buildings, and all the candy around.
There was now an army of spider fairies in all directions, forming ranks and marching forward.
“Wait, wait, wait! Are we in trouble? How are there so many?!”
“Is the fluid they scattered summoning more? E-either way, we can’t handle this many! Let’s run for it!”
“Run where?!”
“Obviously…Porta! Give Amante a candy cane!”
“W-wait, Masato Oosuki! Why me?!”
“The more times you do it, the more likely you are to accept it, but I don’t need to explain that!”
“You just did…argh! This is an emergency. Fine, I’ll do it!”
The canes pointed them toward their mothers, so they ran in the direction they led them.
The spider fairies didn’t fly all that fast. It seemed like they’d be able to push through.
“Good! If we just keep going…!”
“Yep! Right, while I’ve got a moment…” Rubrub.
“Sonny, lemme borrow your jacket sleeve.” Rubrub.
“Hey, you two! What are you doing? Don’t wipe your goo on my gear!”
“Well, it’s your faaaault. You’ve gotta help with the cleanuuuup.” Rubrub.
“How is it my fault?! Stop talking, Sorella!”
Faces wiped, they ran on. Down winding roads, across intersections, checking their paths with the candy canes. They were making steady progress.
They reached a square with a fountain. At the back was a big door with a kanji character on it. The character could be read as amai, which meant both “sweet” and “spoiled.”
“Oh! That sure screams ‘boss room.’ Are we finally gonna face Mone?”
“Yep! I’m not worried about Hahako at all! We’re gonna burst right on through! You on board, Masato Oosuki?”
“Sure, sure…actually, no, wait, give me minute.”
Masato jogged over to the mountain. He was hoping to quickly wash the sticky white goo off his jacket, but…
“Wait, this fountain is…”
It certainly looked like water flowing through it, but the flow was too viscous.
It moved more like molasses. When he reached out and touched it, it was every bit as sticky.
“Is this some sort of syrup? Yikes, what now?!”
Some of the fountain’s liquid had suddenly coalesced, taking shape like a sugar sculpture.
It formed hands, and a head, then started getting more detailed, adding gear and individual hairs.
It was clear at first, but soon color started filling in, revealing…
“Wait, is this me?!”
“Yes. I am you, and you are me!”
Another Masato, indistinguishable from the real thing! The copy drew his sword and swung! “Ack!” Masato quickly drew his own, blocking just in the nick of time.
The two Masatos’ hilts clashed. This sudden twist left his party reeling…
“I guess we can just beat ’em both up.” Grin.
“The survivor will be the real one.” Smirk.
“Don’t! The fake is always stronger in scenes like this!”
Wise and Medhi easily rattled off strategies that didn’t show the least bit of concern for their friend.
Either way, their confidence didn’t last long. Six other sections of the fountain burbled upward, each mimicking another person.
Wise, Medhi, Porta, Amante, Sorella, and Fratello. Six more figures between them and the spoiled boss room.
Masato pushed Masato back then leaped back from him, and the other six joined him.
“So you’re not letting us in that easy, huh?”
“How obnoxious. Let’s clear this obstruction, pronto. I’d like to start by learning the nature of our foe… Porta, can you tell us anything?”
“I’ll check it out! …Hngggg… Those are candy golems! But they aren’t bad monsters!”
“Yes! We aren’t monsters! We’re copies of whoever came here! We exist to judge if those people are worthy of passing through this door!”
“Oh, the other Porta’s just as helpful! You’re such a good girl that even your copy is nice! I’m so proud.”
“We’re going to start judging now! Good luck!”
“But there’s clearly no time for joking around.”
“Exactly! Come at me, me!”
Candy Masato raised Firmamento high and swung it down. The real Masato responded with a side swipe. The vertical and horizontal blows clashed with an earsplitting clang, and both blows were deflected.
“The fight’s begun! I don’t need to explain this, but we don’t wanna attack our own side!”
“This goes without saying, but everyone, make sure you only attack your double!”
“Mm.”
“I knew that without y’all saying anything.”
Sparks flew everywhere. At the center of the battlefield, Masato, Amante, and Fratello—the three close-range fighters—charged in. Their copies did, too.
Swords and fists clashed, their strength an even match. The only way to shift the balance…
“The real me is gonna offer real support! …Spara la magia per mirare… Salire!”
“My support is better than hers! …Spara la magia per mirare… Salire!”
Attack buffs took effect simultaneously, blanketing both combat teams.
And both backline support Clerics glared at each other. “Heh-heh-heh, what does that even mean?” “It’s a simple statement of fact.” They both flashed their prettiest smiles and stepped onto the front line, dark power gushing out, staves raised high—and blows rained down.
“Yo, Medhi! Why is our healer on the front line? This is exactly the kind of situation we need to maintain our core strategy! Geez!”
“Blunt instrumeeeents are so scaaaary. You’re a Maaaage! But so prone to violeeeence!”
“I knoooow! What kind of Mage gets physicaaaaal? At times like thiiiis…”
“You want to go all in on the magic! Use the biggest spells you can!”
“You’re on! You’d better be ready for me, me!”
The magic attackers summoned magic tomes in their hands or overhead, chanting spells.
“If you’re gonna copy me, trying filling out a bit! Show me what I’ve always dreamed of being! …Spara la magia per mirare… Forte Fiamma Cannone!”
“Well, I can’t have what you don’t! I’m the one wants to cry about it! …Spara la magia per mirare… Forte Ghiaccio Cannone!”
Wise vs Candy Wise. Both glaring at one body part—I won’t say what.
Two types of cannonfire—one, extremely concentrated flames, the other, ice cold enough to freeze the soul—were unleashed at the same time. When they met, the sound was so loud, it was like space-time rupturing, shaking everything in the vicinity.
Especially the things the Sorellas had (and the Wises didn’t).
The Sorellas glared at each other.
“My, myyyy. Aren’t the children livelyyyy.”
“Lively isn’t baaad, but flashy spells aren’t betterrrr.”
“I knoooow! It’s so much classier to just drain the life from someoooone. Spara la magia per mirare… Veleno Sospiro!”
“What’s really elegant are damage-over-time (DoT) spells. That’s what the real ladies favooor. Spara la magia per mirare… Maledizione Nebbia!”
A poisonous wind, and a cursed one. Winds blew across the battlefield from both directions, meeting in the center.
One touch spelled doom. It entered through the skin, rampaging through the body. Certain, unavoidable death… “Hey!” “Are you trying to kill your own side?!” ““Whaaaat?”” Both the real and the copy Sorella turned and fled.
“This calls for the hero chosen by the heavens!”
“One attack from me will slice this air asunder!”
The two shock waves scattered the malevolent winds, and the Holy Swords clashed once again. How many times now? All parties resumed their attacks.
“Whoa…this is way more spectacular than usual!”
“Me! That place isn’t safe! Come over here!”
“O-okay! I’ll go stand with me!”
Porta and Candy Porta hid together, hand in hand, closely watching the fierce battle between originals and copies.
But there was a clear difference between the two sides.
How long had the fight been going on?
“Come on, me! Keep them feet moving!”
“Sh-shut up! Hah…hah…they’re moving, see?”
They were evenly matched. But as time went on, the gap between those who knew fatigue and those who never grew tired became clear.
Copy Masato was still waving that sword around like it weighed nothing. But the real one had built up so much lactic acid, he could barely lift his arms. “Crap!” Unable to lift his blade in time to block or raise his arm to deploy his shield wall, he was forced to evade the attack by rolling across the ground.
Damn, I’m in trouble. He’s really got me on the ropes!
His party was not faring any better.
The magic cannon team had run out of magic. “It’s all yours!” “I caaaan’t?!” And too tired to run around. Wise and Sorella were using the magic tome as a shield, weathering a storm of fire and ice.
Medhi had thrown herself into the front line but retreated the moment she found herself at a disadvantage. She’d clearly planned (diabolically) to elegantly spectate, but…
“Clever trick, if I do say so myself.”
“Gah…!”
Candy Medhi fired off a bind spell that left her unable to move.
Amante had been displaying superhuman physical abilities, but even she was on her knees.
“Ha! Serves you right.”
“Time to concede!”
“Tch!”
Fratello had collapsed, so Amante had been carrying her and fighting off both their copies, but it looked like she couldn’t hold out any longer.
Was this the moment of their doom?
“Hey, me! You can’t be looking all over the place! Focus!”
“Yikes! Time out! Please, gimme a moment! Yeah, no way you’re gonna listen…”
“Okay, sure.”
Copy Masato stopped mid-swing.
All the other copies stopped, too.
“Um, what’s this about? You’re just gonna comply? That’s awfully sweet of you.”
“Of course! We’re made of candy! We’re basically complete suckers.”
“I can’t believe you just casually said that with my face and voice…”
“It’s the truth! We’re such suckers, we’ll take pity on our enemy mid-battle! It makes perfect sense. I mean, I’m a sweetheart. A sucker. A naive, spoiled Momma’s boy. What could be better?”
“Oh God, shut up! They might think those are my true feelings! Listen, everyone, none of that’s true! That’s not me talking!”
“Wait, Masato! That is Masato!”
“Yes! I know it! That’s Masato!”
When Masato tried to deny it, Porta and Candy Porta came running.
“Wow, cuteness twofold. No, wait, putting that statement in surround sound doesn’t make it true!”
“S-sorry! But it’s important to accept the sweetness of spoiling! If you can’t do that, you won’t get past this door! I taught myself this!”
“Er…what does that mean?”
“We judge if people have accepted the sweetness of spoiling! Like this!”
Candy Porta turned to Porta.
“Me! I love my mommy! So I want her to spoil me a lot! What do you think, me?”
“I also love my mommy! I love being spoiled! I’m just like you, me!”
“Yes! You’re okay! You’ve been cleared!”
We’re the same! The same! They smiled, clasped hands, and Copy Porta faded out.
The kanji for spoiled began flashing in the air above Porta’s head. She was clear to proceed!
“You see, Masato?!”
“I’ve got to accept the spoiled stuff I’m saying? Seriously? The dungeon of spoiling is way too tough…this is more like…someone’s hardcore shame fetish.”
“But it’s our only option, right? We gotta do it.”
“Yes. If you think about it, it may be the perfect opportunity.”
Wise and Medhi nodded and approached their own copies.
Wise first.
“I know you know this, but I loathe my mom.”
“You say that, but you can’t really bring yourself to hate her. She’s your mom, after all. And that’s just the way she is. She acts like a proper mom every now and then, and that’s all it takes for you to forgive her.”
“Yeah. I’m the one spoiling her. You say you’re a sucker, but so am I. I admit it, so go on, vanish already. You’re embarrassing.”
They both huffed angrily then high-fived as they walked past each other. Copy Wise vanished.
Medhi next.
“I have always let Mother spoil me.”
“I know. We believed that was the right thing to do, never tried to think for ourselves, and just let her make all our decisions. And bottled up all our frustrations until they exploded.”
“But my mother accepted that selfishness. I should be working to make that up to her, but instead I’m off enjoying an adventure. If that isn’t spoiled, I don’t know what is.”
“We’re basking in the sweetness of our mother’s love.”
“Precisely.”
Their identical eyes winced, and they held out their hands…
Thnk! Two staves, each swinging for the other’s shin, clashed. The dark-powered girls smirked, and the candy copy vanished.
Wise and Medhi had accepted their own spoiled sides.
“Right.”
“You’re up, Masato.”
“…Yeah, fine.”
Honestly, he really didn’t want to, but…
The perfect opportunity, huh? Maybe she’s right.
Medhi’s words had struck a nerve. And that got him to his feet.
Without drawing attention to it, he checked that the Libere Kings were watching and turned to face his copy.
“First, I don’t even want to consider letting Mom or any other mom spoil me.”
“Wait, Masato? What are you saying?”
“I know how you feel, but this isn’t the time…!”
“Calm down! I know! But I gotta be honest, right? You’re me, so you know, right?”
What was Masato trying to say? What would saying it accomplish?
Of course it knew. Copy Masato nodded.
“I can’t stop myself from pushing her back. That’s just how it is. Typical teenager stuff.”
“Exactly. I’m in the proverbial ‘rebellious phase.’ I argue with my parents, act like a know-it-all, look down on them, sometimes I get so mad, I even raise a fist and make threats…but this is something that happens to everyone. To every child. It’s as if that’s how we were programmed to act.”
The three Kings were watching intently. Masato was acutely aware of their stares and spoke as clearly as he could.
“I want to do better, but I can’t. It just doesn’t work that way. I’ve got to accept that. And that sucks, but…most families manage to get through it. I dunno how.”
“Because they’re suckers. Spoiled. And sweet.”
“Yeah, maybe. I’ve said all kinds of awful shit to her, lashed out like crazy. Looking back on it, maybe I always knew deep down that she’d forgive me for it.”
“That’s pretty spoiled. But our mom handled all of that.”
“She accepted that this is how all teenagers are, and that’s okay. In the end, she always gave me a hug. I’ve been letting her spoil me the whole time. It was spoiling that brought me here. I can protest that I don’t want it all I like, but it doesn’t mean anything. What will mean something is accepting the truth. However reluctantly.”
“Reluctant it may be, but that’s the best we can do.”
“Yeah. That’s me.”
They fist-bumped, nodded, and Candy Masato vanished.
And along with him went the last shred of Masato’s need to rebel against Mamako.
Putting it all out there does feel good. It’s like a weight off my shoulders.
Then he remembered.
MMMMMORPG (working title) stood for Mom’s Massively Maternal Multiplayer Making-up-with-Offspring Role-Playing Game.
It was a game where parents and children with relationship issues formed a party and went on adventures with the goal of getting closer together.
Masato had entered this world as a hero and had now found himself. He’d broken down the walls he’d built up and taken a step closer to his mother.
Perhaps he’d found one of the answers that lay at the end of this family journey. He felt like he had anyway.
“I just meant to help these three along, but…maybe I was the one who needed that last push. Either way…”
Everyone rebels against their parents. There was nothing children could do to stop themselves from doing it.
And if your mother could accept that and wait for you with arms open wide, all you had to do was throw yourself into them.
Had the three girls understood that? He turned to look.
“…Humph. How idiotic.” Amante snarled.
She turned to face her copy.
They both folded their arms, lording it over the other. They glowered at each other wordlessly.
“If you’re us, then you oughtta know. Work it out.”
“Yes. Do as you please.”
Copy Amante, Copy Sorella, and Copy Fratello all smiled faintly, and vanished.
Everyone present had been cleared. The door bearing the kanji for amai opened. Amante led the way with the other two Four Kings following right behind.
“Um, wait up! You all accepted your spoiling? How?”
“Not telliiiing. It’s a seeecret. Mwa-ha-haaaa.”
“Men don’t use words. They talk with their backs.”
“Yep. This is our personal problem. No need to explain it to you. Humph.”
“This would be a good time to accidentally explain it…”
They seemed extra grumpy. Masato shook his head, and his party followed them in.
The Dark God lay at the source of that sweet-smelling breeze.
No Comments Yet
Post a new comment
Register or Login