6
And so Yui Yuigahama declares.
It’s not unusual for me to spend my weekends in a state of ennui, but still, these past two days had been particularly bad.
I slept like the dead, then in the afternoon, I’d wake up and eat, then go lie around on the couch, until eventually, sleepiness took over and I nodded off for a nap, and then by the time I woke up again, it’d already be evening. Then I’d eat dinner and lounge around until I got tired again and eventually fell asleep. Repeat this for two days, and my weekend was over.
The whole time, I had this feeling like there was powdered medicine in my mouth. That bitter, gritty, unpleasant feeling never went away. That didn’t change, even once Monday came around. In fact, my despondency only increased.
As I cycled to school under the cloudy sky, the wind was cold, and my pedals were heavy. Once I was at school, now it was my feet that were heavy, and the draft blowing in from somewhere really got to me.
But the people in the classroom made it feel warmer.
It still felt somewhat darker than usual, and probably not only because of the weather. Though it was all the same faces in the same places, it didn’t feel lively enough.
The main cause of this was probably that the central figure of the class was depressed. The voices I heard from the rear of the class were lower in volume than usual, too.
Even Tobe, who was usually extra loud, was keeping to a moderate volume. Maybe that was his way of being thoughtful. “Hayato, what about club today?”
“Yeah. I guess I’ll go a little early.” Hayama’s tone was the same as always. He was just speaking less than usual, and that seemed to naturally infect the others.
“That reminds me, there’s no practice on Friday, huh?” Ooka said nonchalantly, and Yamato responded with an “Ohhh, yeah.” The sports clubs all shared the same field. The both of them were aware of that.
Something about that must have struck Miura, as she replied with that one word. “…Friday.” Her mind seemed elsewhere, somehow, like she was murmuring the word in a feverish delirium.
With a sudden realization, Ebina stood up, pushing her chair back with a scrape. “Y-Yumiko! Friday and today—I don’t know which is topping!”
“Friday…” This time, Yuigahama was the one to mutter the word.
“O-okay! Your vote is for Friday as the top, huh? What about you, Tobecchi?!”
The conversation suddenly turned toward him, Tobe was at a loss. “Huh? Uh, what does Friday have to do…?” But he seemed to have a thought then, as he suddenly started raising his voice, knocking over his chair to stand. “I-it’s today, of course! Today just keeps going up and up! It’s gotta be today!”
“R-right? I—I think so, too!”
Dragging in Ooka and Yamato, too, Tobe and Ebina high-fived.
“Woo!”
“Yay!”
Once they were basically done with their shenanigans, the both of them were panting. But Hayama smiled kindly, while Miura and Yuigahama merely sighed.
…It was a tear-jerking effort.
But I’d be bothered if they didn’t do that.
Because that was the sort of relationship they would want.
Time quietly passed along through first and second period. Third period also went by without great event, and then it was fourth.
Once this was over, it’d be lunchtime. The mood in the class would probably be the same as it had that morning. I don’t eat in the classroom, so it didn’t have much to do with me, but how would it look to the other classes when the person who had been one of the most lively in the school was this dispirited?
Maybe they wouldn’t actually notice. None of our teachers seemed to have noticed.
Fourth period was Japanese. The bell rang, and Miss Hiratsuka walked in. She looked around the room, tilting her head. “…Hmm. You’re all quiet today. Oh well, let’s get started.”
As expected, she was watching closely.
She instructed us to turn to a certain page in our textbooks before she read out something, then started writing on the chalkboard.
Propping my head on my hand, I opened up my textbook. I mechanically rotated my gaze between the book, the blackboard, and my notebook. But no matter which I was looking at, the rows of characters produced no meaning. Class went on by without anything entering my head at all.
It had been like this all day.
I’d been going round in circles, repeating questions for which no answers emerged.
I’d suddenly remember something, then my thoughts would drift again.
What did Orimoto think when she saw Yukinoshita and Yuigahama?
Maybe that was unfair to Nakamachi.
Is Isshiki going to come talk to me? And I have to do something about her election, too.
Oh, and on that note, I guess I have to give a progress report to Meguri, too.
Ebina can handle supporting Miura, and Tobe could help out with that, too. This might actually lead to things going well for them.
Should I have bought Komachi a chocolate croissant yesterday? She still isn’t talking to me.
And what is Haruno thinking? I don’t really understand her and Yukinoshita’s relationship. I’ve never gotten even a little closer to them.
Hayama’s more listless than usual. I’m impressed he can put on a smile anyway. Is he not affected by that stuff? If so, then that’s just great. If I’m the only one going around in circles here, then my own excessive self-consciousness is gonna make me sick.
Most of all, what are the two of them thinking right now?
At some point, my hand had stopped copying the text on the board.
Realizing that, I jerked my head up, and my eyes met with Miss Hiratsuka’s at the teacher’s podium.
“Hikigaya.”
“Y-yes?” My name suddenly being called made me react with a twitch.
Miss Hiratsuka sighed deeply. “Come to the staff room after class,” she said. Nothing more. Then she descended from the teacher’s podium and left the classroom.
What about class…? I thought, and I looked around to see everyone already putting away their textbooks, notebooks, and stuff, pulling out their lunches, and moving their desks. It seemed while I’d been zoning out, the bell had rung.
I put away my books and other supplies, too, and stood from my seat.
Come to the staff room after class meant I was to come during lunch hour. I’d get this done before I had lunch. If I didn’t, I’d lose my time to eat.
I hurried out into the hallway to find Miss Hiratsuka walking a little ahead. I followed her to the teachers’ room. Though I was close enough that I’d be able to hear her, she didn’t say anything. She silently communicated to me to follow.
Once we were in the staff room, she finally opened her mouth. “Let’s use the back.” By the back, she must have meant the reception space set up in the staff room. Behind a partition, there was a glass-topped coffee table and black leather-upholstered sofas. She’d brought me there before. “Sit.” She indicated the sofa, and I sat there.
She sat down on the sofa on the other side, a little to the right diagonally in front of me. Then she pulled out a cigarette and lit it.
I gently pushed the crystal ashtray on the table to her side, and she nodded and hummed.
She took two or three drags, then tapped off the ash. “You weren’t listening at all in class today,” she said with a mildly irritated look. “Your exam scores are the one thing you’ve got going for you, so this is a problem.” She blew out a full, disapproving breath of tobacco smoke, paused a moment, then got to the point. “…Yukinoshita came to talk to me this morning.”
Since Miss Hiratsuka had gone to the trouble of calling me here, this had to be fairly important. I sat up straighter and listened closely.
She tapped the ash off her cigarette again. “To talk about running in the election for student council president.”
“Who’s running?” I asked.
“She is,” Miss Hiratsuka replied instantly.
Hearing that created a flutter of unease in my heart.
Yukinoshita was running in the election for student council president.
The question of why bubbled up. She didn’t really like standing in front of a crowd; she’d said so herself. When the role of chair of the cultural festival had been pushed on her, she’d stubbornly refused. Most of all, there was the Service Club.
Had Haruno’s provocation roused her to action? Was the discord between the two sisters still stubbornly burning its hot embers, even now?
As I lost myself in thought, Miss Hiratsuka added, “And Hayama will be doing her campaign speech.”
“Oh…” Hayama, huh…?
It was true that if she was going to get anyone to do her campaign speech, he was the best choice—but only if there were no ties of obligation there. I don’t know what’s gone on between Hayama and Yukinoshita in the past; I’ve never known. However, based on the way they normally interacted, this felt out of character, especially considering the principles that motivated her behavior.
Had Yukinoshita decided over the weekend that she’d run, contacted Hayama, and gotten him to promise to do her campaign speech? Her motives and intentions were unclear to me, but as always, she was good at making things happen. That was the one thing I could say was like her.
Miss Hiratsuka crushed her cigarette in the tray and raised her face. “What will you do, Hikigaya?”
“I won’t do anything. I can’t nitpick her methods, can I?” Besides, it was common sense that Yukinoshita becoming student council president would resolve things in the smoothest manner. So there was no need to search out another candidate to back, either. I couldn’t find any problems or faults anywhere.
Even more troubling was that I could easily imagine her as student council president.
Without realizing it, I’d been grinding my teeth this whole time.
“…Well, if we’re talking about if she has what it takes, she fits the role,” I muttered. In fact, why hadn’t I thought of that possibility in the first place? I’d unconsciously excluded it as an option.
Even though I’d known that place, that time together, could fall apart easily at any moment, due to any factor.
Miss Hiratsuka nodded. “Mm-hmm, yes…she’s the most qualified person we could get. If others knew, teachers included, she’d be very much welcomed.”
Indeed. That would probably relieve not only the teachers, but Meguri, too. If she found out, they wouldn’t even have to have an election. That would essentially settle the whole situation.
When I started thinking about it, I suddenly realized something. “She hasn’t told anyone yet?”
“No, she hasn’t.” Miss Hiratsuka smiled sweetly, then lit another cigarette. She huffed out another vigorous breath and pointed her fingertip at me. “Now then, I’ll ask one more time. What will you do, Hikigaya?” she asked.
Before I could even think, I had a knee-jerk reaction.
I couldn’t accept Yukinoshita’s bid for student council president.
Whatever arguments I came up with, they’d all be excuses for my initial reaction. But I’d get my reasons soon enough. I understood her plan was the wrong way to go about things. Ultimately, if she was going to take this on, it would be no different from what had happened with the cultural festival.
I’d already rejected those methods.
Then I could take that conclusion to hold true this time, too.
“…Miss Hiratsuka, do you have the key to the clubroom?” I asked.
She fluttered her hand. “Yukinoshita uses it at lunchtime, as always.”
That meant around this time, she’d still be in the clubroom, eating her lunch.
Once she’d announced her candidacy in this election, she wouldn’t be able to withdraw. Whether I was going to stop her or not, if I was going to talk to her, then sooner was better.
When I stood up, Miss Hiratsuka looked out the window and puffed out a breath of smoke. “Even now that attendance is optional, she comes to get the key every day.”
“…Is that right? Excuse me, then.” I bowed, and Miss Hiratsuka raised her hand in return without looking at me. Cigarette smoke continued to waft above her.
I quickly left the staff room and headed straight for the clubroom.
The stairs and hallway of the special-use building were sparsely populated with passing figures. It made for a terribly bleak scene. But walking quickly kept the cold from bothering me.
I put my hand on the door of the clubroom and immediately opened it.
Yukinoshita and Yuigahama were there. Both of them had little boxed lunches spread out. My sudden entrance made Yuigahama stare at me, openmouthed. But Yukinoshita just eyed me coolly in the same manner as the other day, saying nothing.
“Yukinoshita, are you going to run?” I asked.
She answered me concisely. “…Yes.” Then she quietly looked down.
“Huh?” Yuigahama was the only one surprised here, her eyes wide.
“You didn’t know?” I asked.
“N-no…,” Yuigahama said, her gaze sliding downward as she drew in her shoulders.
Yukinoshita gave Yuigahama an apologetic look. “…I was just about to consult with you about it,” she said, but she was looking away from the other girl.
“It’s not consulting if you’ve already decided,” I said.
Yukinoshita had made this decision on her own, and she’d taken first steps on her own. It probably was true that she’d meant to talk about it now. Or maybe she’d meant to talk about it earlier. Setting aside the question of whether she’d actually managed to bring it up.
The events of a few days ago crossed my mind, and I asked, “Is it because of…what your sister said?”
But without looking at me, Yukinoshita answered. “This has nothing to do with her. I don’t take the things she says seriously. This is what I want.”
I didn’t know what was actually true. I didn’t understand either of the Yukinoshita sisters enough to be able to touch on their relationship. But even if I did address that matter, I highly doubted that would change Yukinoshita’s answer to me.
It would be best to talk about something else.
“Weren’t you going to back Hayama?”
“He has his club, and there’s no one else suitable for the job,” Yukinoshita answered, eyes on her own hands laid on top of the desk.
Hearing that, Yuigahama timidly said, “But you have a club, too, Yukinon…”
Yukinoshita looked up to smile at her and acknowledge her fumbling, hesitant attempt. “I’ll be all right. This club isn’t as much work as the soccer team, and I’m aware of how the student council works, so I don’t think it will be a great burden for me.”
So she said, but would it really work out so well?
Had anyone ever been on the student council while also being in a club? With Yukinoshita’s abilities, maybe she could pull that off. But when I thought about the cultural and athletic festivals, I felt there were too many unknowns until she actually tried them.
I understood that she couldn’t back Hayama. The soccer club was a core athletic club. Being their captain, he wouldn’t be able to get out of practice that easily. That clearly meant he couldn’t participate in student council activities. That was why I’d excluded him as a candidate from the start, too.
But that didn’t immediately mean that Yukinoshita should run. “What about the possibility of backing a candidate other than Hayama?” I suggested.
“You were the one who rejected that idea,” Yukinoshita answered instantly and icily.
Indeed, considering the time restrictions, it was unlikely we could select and convince someone with the attributes of a student council president and also make sure they won the election. I was the one who had pointed that out.
My mind does its best work only when criticizing other people. But I’d never thought that tendency would stand in my way at a time like this. I found myself scratching my head. “That’s why you’re gonna run?” The remark came out so short, it ended up sounding rather curt. Yuigahama’s shoulders twitched.
But Yukinoshita calmly—no, in a manner even more glacial than usual, delivered her reply. “Objectively speaking, I believe it’s best for me to do it. And I can easily beat Isshiki. Doing things myself, I won’t have to adjust to working with someone else. I’m sure the other members of the student council will be motivated, so unlike the previous functions, I should be able to move things along smoothly and efficiently… And besides, I don’t mind doing it,” she finished saying all at once, then breathed a little sigh.
Her face was tilted downward as if she intended to end this conversation, and it seemed to reveal sadness, also a hint of grim determination.
Efficiently, huh?
That word in particular stuck with me. She wasn’t the only one who had sought efficiency. I could think of someone else who had acted based on that rationale.
That was exactly why, if we were talking about efficiency only, there was another way. “Sure, maybe, but you could also not play in the first place,” I said.
Yukinoshita raised her face from its sagging position. “Are you talking about your plan?” she asked me, a sharp glint in her eye. That look again.
But I wasn’t going to back down now. So I looked her in the eye, too. “Yeah.”
I didn’t have absolute confidence in my plan. But even so, of the cards that had been dealt to me, I intended to draw those that had the greatest chances of success and greatest efficiency.
I’d already shown my hand.
Yukinoshita sighed, gaze leaving me for a moment.
And then she fixed me with a glare. I felt the pressure of an emotion close to hostility. “It’s arrogant of you to believe that all the students in the school will act based on what you do or say. I don’t think it’s enough to resolve this.”
She hit me where it hurt.
As Yukinoshita said, I didn’t have that kind of influence. I was well aware of that. I had been able to stir things up within the small community of a committee. But being someone with no reputation or popularity, someone even lesser than your regular student who would never rise in the world, it was frankly an unknown quantity just how much effect my words would have on an unspecified majority. Even if people hated me, they might not even remember me. It was uncertain I would be fixed in the memory of the student body. And they might also consider me as a separate entity from Isshiki.
But in that case, I simply had to once again carefully examine what needed to happen for our predicted results and then go above and beyond it.
“So then I’ll come up with a plan assuming they won’t.” If being unfair and vicious wasn’t enough, then I’d just have to use malice and spite. There were any number of ways to rake together hatred and loathing. People don’t need reasons to hate others. They kinda annoy me, They’re kinda nasty, or They’re kinda gross can all become reasons to hate people.
My lips twisted in a sneaky smile. My expression did that on its own; I wasn’t doing it intentionally. I looked back at Yukinoshita.
Seeing that, Yukinoshita firmly bit her lip and looked away from me. “…If you think everyone is thinking about you…that they hate you, then you are incredibly self-absorbed.”
That one remark hurt way more than any logic.
The monster of self-consciousness hiding away in its labyrinth crawled even deeper in.
I hadn’t been able to counter a single thing Yukinoshita had said.
When the conversation cut off there, in the silence, the wind rattled the window. The north wind blowing through chilled the clubroom.
“…You and I do things differently.” She was facing the floor, her tightly clenched fists and narrow shoulders trembling in the cold. That was all she said. But it was the one thing I could agree with.
“Yeah…” We really did. I don’t think it was about what was proper and improper, like about the pros and cons of a given method—we had different goals. That disparity was the distance between us now.
Yuigahama, sitting between us, was listening silently. She must have been in thought the whole time. As if her mind was elsewhere, she muttered, “Oh…so that’s what you’re gonna do, Yukinon…”
Nobody else said anything.
As I felt time gradually freezing over, Yukinoshita glanced at me. “Is there anything else?”
“…No, I just wanted to confirm that.”
I don’t know exactly what I wanted to confirm. This situation was different from the last time I’d rejected Yukinoshita’s methodology, so I couldn’t stand opposed to her methods so easily. I didn’t think hers was the best way, but I was gradually coming to accept it.
“…Mm-hmm.” Yukinoshita breathed a sound somewhere between a reply and a sigh, then began packing away her little lunch box. I could see there was still quite a lot of food left in it.
I turned around and left the clubroom.
I knew the sound of me closing the door behind me would be loud in the silent room.
I walked down the hallway of the special-use building far slower than when I’d come.
That was when Hayama came toward me from ahead. When he noticed me, he casually raised a hand. “So you came, too?”
I was impressed he could bring himself to talk to me. He speaks his mind to me, and then he’s suddenly acting like he’s fine. I really couldn’t understand how he didn’t feel anything about this. Or was he like Haruno in disposition, too?
“…” I didn’t really feel like talking at all, so I asked with my gaze why he was there.
He shrugged. “They wanted to see me.”
“Oh.” I said. Then I slipped past Hayama, walking on ahead.
As we passed by each other, Hayama said, “I’m going to team up with Yukinoshita… What will you do?”
“…I’m not doing anything,” I spit, and without turning around, I kept going down the hallway. I got the feeling I heard a sigh behind me.
What I’d said probably wasn’t true—but truthfully, I couldn’t do anything.
I couldn’t see any points of Yukinoshita’s to argue against. What she was saying made sense.
I didn’t even know if it was okay for me to oppose this in the first place.
There was no reason for it.
If Yukinoshita was saying she’d run in the election, then she would unquestionably be the best candidate, and she was basically already elected. And of course, she was good enough to do it, and she also had Hayama’s help, too.
I was walking along in such a daze that when I got back to the classroom, I realized I’d forgotten to have lunch.
Partly because of my hunger, I didn’t absorb anything from my afternoon classes. I don’t even know if I heard any of it.
But I was facing forward through every class. When I turned backward, I’d see Yuigahama and Hayama, and the intrusive thoughts would return.
I gave up on listening to the class or thinking and just leaned on my hand, alternating between napping and pretending to be asleep. I got through fifth and sixth period like this, until finally, it was time for homeroom.
Days like this, it’s best to go home as fast as possible.
After the homeroom teacher made the announcements, we were finally set free.
The after-school bustle felt like it was going on in another world, somehow. I stayed apart from the din, getting ready to go and then standing from my seat. I went out into the hallway, and then when I headed for the school entrance, a voice came to me from behind.
“W-wait up!” I turned around to find Yuigahama running up to me. She seemed flustered, but she caught her breath and then said slowly, “Um…do you want to go home together?”
“I ride my bike. And our homes are in different directions.” I gave her the completely obvious answer and said nothing more. I didn’t get any feelings mixed up in this.
But Yuigahama didn’t back down. “Yeah. So then…just that far,” she said, pointing which way, I didn’t even know.
Seeing the look on her face, I figured, Oh, she’s not gonna back down.
Well, stopping by Yuigahama’s apartment would mean I’d be kinda going the long way around, and I’d still get home. Even if I did go straight home, it wasn’t as if there was anything in particular for me to do.
Besides, I basically understood what she wanted to talk about. Because so did I.
“…I’ll go get my bicycle, so wait there,” I said, pointing to the side entrance, then started walking.
“Oh, I’ll go with you,” Yuigahama replied and followed behind me.
“No, it’s fine.” I stopped her, then hurried over to the bicycle parking. With so many people at school now, it’d be embarrassing to go to the bicycle parking together. Worst of all, it’d draw attention to her. All the more so if she was at the bicycle parking lot when she didn’t bike to school. I knew she was popular with boys, too. I got the feeling it wasn’t very good for her to be seen like that.
I hurried to unlock my bike and headed to the side entrance.
Yuigahama was waiting for me at the side entrance, and when she noticed me, she waved her arm high.
C’mon, seriously. People notice this stuff.
I pushed my bicycle along, and when I was beside her, I prompted her to go. She nodded back at me and started walking.
I remembered which way her apartment was. I was fairly sure it was in a corner of the apartment block a few minutes walking from the station. It’d be fastest to bike there or take the bus, and I think there’s a bus stop right in front of it, too. Yuigahama normally took the bus to school.
First, we went toward the station, going along the road by the park near the school. The leaves of the trees in the park had all fallen, and there were no children around playing. But the road by the park was sparsely populated with some intermittent clusters of students walking home from school. We were among those.
I just pushed my bicycle silently along, and she kept her lips shut as she walked.
It was as if the both of us were looking for the right moment to bring it up.
Maintaining this uncomfortable silence, we turned onto the road that curved along the apartment buildings. The slanting rays of the sun descended upon us through the shadows of the buildings.
A northern wind blew through the pale light of the sun. Its cold made me huddle in on myself.
Suddenly, she opened her mouth. “So…Yukinon’s running, huh? In the election.”
“Uh-huh.” That was what was on our minds now. Yukinoshita hadn’t even told Yuigahama of her intention to run. What was she thinking, and what did we want to do? I assumed that was what Yuigahama wanted to talk about.
But she said something completely different. “I think… I think I’ll try running, too.”
“What?” I asked back, turning to face her as I wondered what she was talking about all of a sudden.
But she pressed her lips tight, looking at the ground at her feet with a serious expression. So I fully considered the context of what she’d said.
If she’d said she was going to run, then it wasn’t a joke. She was saying she was going to run as a candidate in the same election for student council president as Yukinoshita.
“Why…?” I asked. I didn’t think Yuigahama would want to be student council president. Frankly, she’s not the type.
She kicked a pebble at her feet. It bounced once, then immediately fell into the gutter. “’Cause I was thinking, you know, I’ve got nothing. There’s nothing I can do or help with. So maybe if I was on the council, I could actually do something.” When she finished saying that, she lifted her face. She must have felt shy about speaking so seriously and was smiling bashfully to cover it.
When I failed to offer any reply, that smile disappeared.
Only after that did I manage to speak. “Actually do something…? You can’t just make such a selfish decision on your own.”
“I’m not being selfish.” Yuigahama stopped. Her head was drooping down, so I couldn’t see her face. But her declaration had an accusatory edge. It was the first time I’d ever heard her speak like that. “Everyone else’s been selfish.” Her voice wasn’t at all loud. There was quiet anger in it.
It was true that I had no right to tell her that. Ultimately, during the school field trip, I’d done what I’d done selfishly, of my own accord. Of course, Yukinoshita had done the same when she’d decided to run in this election, too. We had been making nothing but self-centered decisions.
But even so, that was no reason for Yuigahama to be running.
“Have you really thought it over?” I asked.
Yuigahama nodded and looked down. “I have. I thought long and hard about it, and I figured this is the only way.” She continued, words faltering. Her gloveless hands were clenching one strap of her backpack. “This time around, we’re going to try getting things done. Because we realized we’ve been letting you handle everything.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
“I dunno about that…” Her smile looked fragile. She tilted her head a little.
“It’s true. So there’s no reason for you to run.” That was all I could say.
At the very least, I had truly never done anything good. Not a single thing worthy of praise or acclaim. I was just flailing around with my own selfish theories.
So there was no need for her to show this kind of consideration.
“But that’s not the only reason.” Yuigahama looked far away, toward the school. “If Yukinon becomes student council president, I think she’ll focus on the job. And I know she’ll be the best there ever was, and it’ll be good for the school… But…it’ll probably end our club.”
“It’s not going to disappear.” I wasn’t exactly lying; the club called the Service Club would remain.
But Yuigahama shook her head. Though her hair wasn’t that long, it fluttered about, shining in the setting sun. “It will. During the cultural festival and the athletic festival, Yukinon was only focused on the one thing. And you know that, too.”
“…” I understood that well. Every time a request related to a big event had come, we’d always been focused on it.
Yukinoshita could only do so much. Of course, she could do far more than your average person, but she still had a limit. If she were to become student council president, the sort of job that basically had some kind of work to do all throughout the year, the Service Club would be unlikely to continue activities as before.
As I was thinking, Yuigahama took one step out ahead of me. “You know…” She spun toward me, her skirt fluttering. Folding her hands behind her, she stopped on the spot.
Then she looked straight at me.
“ I…love this club.”
And that’s why I want to protect it, her few words told me.
“I…love it.” As she repeated those words, tears were building in the corners of her eyes.
Seeing that, I was speechless.
What should I say at a time like this? All that went through my mind was irrelevant impressions, and nothing would come out of my mouth.
Suddenly noticing I wasn’t saying anything, Yuigahama hurriedly wiped at her eyes with her sleeve, then forced a smile. “W-well, um… I figured if I become student council president, if I kinda half-ass it, maybe I could keep on with the club. I mean, you know me. Other people won’t expect much from me, you know?”
“Hey, but still—,” I started to say, but she stopped me. She took one step forward, gently laid her hand on my chest, then gave a tiny shake of her head, keeping me from saying anything else.
Her face was so close. She was looking down, so I couldn’t really see her expression. I was unable to back away, frozen there.
Slowly, she raised her face. “…That’s why I’m going to beat Yukinon.”
There were no longer any droplets in her eyes, and I sensed strong determination in her gaze.
I was about to open my mouth to say her name when she hopped back, putting a step’s worth of distance between us.
Then she glanced all around, hitching her backpack up her shoulder again and babbling, “Oh, this is far enough! …S-see you!”
“Y-yeah…see you later,” I replied with a short acknowledgment as she trotted off in a rush.
She must have heard that, as she turned to me again. “Bye, Hikki!” she said with a little wave.
I watched her go through the slanting rays of the sun, off where my hand wouldn’t reach. The spot on my chest where she’d touched a moment ago felt like it was being constricted.
I casually raised a hand, then pushed my bicycle back the way I’d come.
When I reached the main road, I threw my leg over my bicycle. As I pedaled, I wrapped myself in my thoughts.
Yuigahama had said she was going to become the student council president in order to protect where she belonged, the Service Club.
If there was anyone who could beat Yukinoshita, it might be her. Considering her presence in the upper caste as well as her horizontal connections, she surpassed Yukinoshita, and she could well split Hayama’s base. I would no longer be able to predict the votes of those who would have supported Hayama, including Miura.
Most of all, Yui Yuigahama was a wonderful girl.
That was why it wouldn’t be strange at all for her to become student council president.
Yukino Yukinoshita and Yui Yuigahama.
One of the two would probably win the election. And then, no matter which of them lost, Iroha Isshiki would maintain her reputation.
There was no better move to make than that.
This would resolve the request we accepted from Isshiki.
But as a result—
—I was sure the club would be over.
Despite what Yuigahama had said, she’d probably do a proper job as student council president. I’m sure at first she’d only play the part, but that would only get her so far.
She didn’t look like it on the surface, but she was a hard worker, and she took care of people. She was sure to become a student council president who was adored by the council; she would become unable to let those people down. That would lead her to try to wholly fulfill her responsibilities as student council president. Once that happened, it would become difficult for her to show up at the club.
As a result, our club activities would come to an end.
It would become something completely different, and all that would be left would be the name “Service Club” and the room.
I’d realized that already.
And not just me—they had, too.
If they were both satisfied with this choice, then I was fine with it. It wasn’t okay for me to control other people’s decisions based on my own personal sentimentality.
But…
But even so…
It hurts when someone forces you into a role.
It was really hard to watch them attempt to protect something important to them and, as a result, let go of that very thing.
Even as I knew you can’t have a teen drama without something being sacrificed.
Even as I was arrogantly claiming that I wasn’t a sacrifice, so I don’t need pity or sympathy.
What a cruel contradiction.
Twilight and nighttime dark mixed in the sky as the cold wind tormented my fingertips. I’d been pedaling so frantically, but at some point, my legs had stopped.
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