Twilight Upon a Thousand Snow-capped Mountains - Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Just as I was joking with Yue Ying in the ward, Mu Zhen Fei arrived.

Without the gauze, it felt weird looking at him today. The past few days I stared at him like a single eyed dragon and was empty of thoughts. Perhaps because Yue Ying mentioned my spring blossom luck, but I wasn’t her and I wasn’t for love, not at all, I swore.

Mu Zhen Fei brought fruits again, Yue Ying started skinning the apples, with Mu Zhen Fei’s sunny bright handsome face, I felt uneasy and said, “Thanks Senior.”

Mu Zhen Fei was a batch above me, I had already heard of his accomplishments when I entered the school as a first year. That was when he was most hyped, actually managing to force their school into revolutionising the Logistics group, which took a long time to build up. Whenever students from our school brought up Mu Zhen Fei, it was like mentioning Yao Ming or Liu Xiang, totally of idol status. I still remembered on the school BBS, there was an indignant memo that proclaimed, “Since the May 4th movement, our school has never lagged behind others, unfortunately despite the 100 years of glorious history, there is not a single one who can be compared to Mu Zhen Fei…”

Afterwards this memo was vandalised beyond recognition because there were people who scorned Mu Zhen Fei for being associated with forefathers of the May 4th movement in the same breath. Then School of History and International Relations came to blows about the meaning of the May 4th movement to whether modern history should be revised. Students from these schools were excellent orators, it was debated to no end and was the hottest topic of the year. Every time we entered the freaking ugly BBS homepage, we’d see it glowing in bright red right at the top.

Actually it was not as if Mu Zhen Fei had an extra eye or a nose, he just looked like a really ideal guy. Plus he didn’t seem to be from engineering because he looked so sunny and bright.

Mu Zhen Fei saw that my eyes were no longer covered with gauze and asked, “Can you see now?”

“Not yet, the doctor said I’d need some time to recover and it wouldn’t be a big problem then.”

“That day I wanted to tell you, but your gauze wasn’t removed yet and the doctor told me not to affect your emotions. That’s why I’m saying this now.” Mu Zhen Fei looked very serious, even his dimples had disappeared. He pressed his lips together before saying, “I apologize to you. The thing that hit your eyes that day was my mobile. I was holding it in my hand initially, but when they raised me up forcefully, I didn’t hold it tight enough and it flew out. I didn’t expect to hit you.”

So he wasn’t being a good Samaritan but he was the perpetrator!

No wonder he sent me to hospital, and visited me daily. So it was like this. What cherry blossom luck, it was obviously an unexpected disaster.

After the incident Yue Ying went to the scene to check but couldn’t find the object that I was hit by. There were too many people then, very chaotic and once it occurred I was rushed to the hospital. Later, although she checked with a few students from our school, nobody saw what exactly hit me. At least Mu Zhen Fei had a conscience, although he was the perpetrator but immediately after the incident he sent me to the hospital. And even confessed to it afterwards, so I couldn’t accuse him of a hit and run.

I instinctively wanted to touch my throbbing left eye, only to be stopped by him, “Don’t touch it! Beware of infection!”

So I rubbed my nose instead, “How are you going to make it up for hitting me?”

“Medical and nutrition fees will be paid by me. As for the notes from these few days, I’ve already copied them for you. I already asked to borrow notes for today and the day after, I’ll help you to copy them after class.”

Yue Ying interrupted, “That ‘s not enough, what if there are complications after? You must take responsibility!”

Complications…I didn’t dare bring it up. Because during the check up this morning, the doctor said that the worst would be that my eyesight would worsen by a few hundred degrees, but the chances were low. At most 2%, I didn’t think my luck would be that bad?

Mu Zhen Fei eyed me, “Sorry, I’m truly apologetic about this. If there’s anything, just bring it up. As long as I can help, I’ll do my best.”

His tone was sincere and his attitude was upright. No wonder he’s such a personality, with a sense of responsibility.

My mind span, pondering if I should ask him to fetch water for a year or ask him to be Yue Ying’s boyfriend?

Before I asked, Yue Ying already cut in, “Do you have a girlfriend?”

He was stunned for a bit,”Don’t have…”

Yue Ying persisted, “Really don’t have?”

“Really dont.”

Yue Ying smiled happily, “Alright you will help Tong Xue to fetch water for a year, rain or shine, until you graduate.”

Before I could say a thing, Mu Zhen Fei had already nodded in agreement, “Alright, no problem.”

Mu Zhen Fei left and I blamed Yue Ying,  “How could you let him off so easy?”

“That’s letting him off easy? I thought you hated fetching water? What did you plan to suggest then?”

I sighed and sadly said, “I was going to force him to be your boyfriend.”

Yue Ying momentarily turned pale, “Ahh…you didn’t say so earlier…I actually passed up an opportunity to be with Mu Zhen Fei…I can’t live anymore…”

Although I really wanted to shamelessly try and blackmail Mu Zhen Fei into becoming Yue Ying’s boyfriend, but at least I can bully him daily in close proximity. But people like him, would he easily succumb to the will of others? No matter where Zhang Wu Ji goes, he is still Zhang Wu Ji. Even the evil Zhao Min had to set a huge trap to get him to agree to three conditions. He was just feeling guilty for the momentarily sleight, now I was neither blind nor disabled, he wouldn’t be all that guilty and I didn’t have the ability to force him to draw Yue Ying’s brows from then on. The lesson from last time taught me not to try things I didn’t have confidence in, because I could be easily humiliated.

The first day I entered the dormitory after being discharged, there were two bottles of water waiting outside my room door, a brand new pair of 8 pound bottles. I heard Mu Zhen Fei personally sent them over, pity Yue Ying and I were at the supermarket, and didn’t witness this spectacular event. That situation had shaken the entire level, and girls from nine buildings away ran over to check out the commotion. In the words of our dorm-mate, “Our dormitory has finally something to be proud off.”

I was pleased, “When we graduate let’s write a poetic couplet for the wall, to let our future juniors admire.”

Yue Ying asked, “What couplets?”

I bragged, “The first half is – Sent Mu Zhen Fei to fetch water.”

“And the next half?”

“To give autographs on behalf of He Yang Yu.” I was completely shameless, “And add on a horizontal scroll, ‘Even more cow like than a cow*.”

*Even more stubborn  than a cow.

Yue Ying was laughing hysterically, He Yang Yu was in the same class as as, and was a well-known personality in the school. Although her fame didn’t surpass Mu Zhen Fei’s but the limelight she enjoyed only surpassed and never paled in comparison. Because He Yang Yu joined the TV station’s Amateur hosting competition during the last summer vacation, emerging with the newcomer’s award. After all that, the whole country’s audience now recognized her, she had many social events to go to, filming shows and commercials, so she always took the risk and skipped classes.

She and Yue Ying were from the same town, had a good relationship, so she got along with me as well. The professor who taught Super-molecular didn’t call out attendance, so the class would sign to mark attendance. Supposedly he would check the signatures whenever he felt like it. I could forge He Yang Yu’s signature best, so I always signed for her, and had never been exposed.

My eyes slowly recovered, just that I needed to take vitamins daily. The doctor prescribed it, supposedly beneficial to my eyesight recovery. But Mu Zhen Fei really kept to his word, every he sent two bottles of water to the entrance of the hostel, where Aunt Zhang was. In the morning before class I would leave my empty bottles there, and when I collected them in the night, they would be full. Initially this caused an uproar, the entire hostel thought Mu Zhen Fei was going after me. Because our university was more traditional, most of the hostels in this prestigious university had a century of heritage. Many guys stayed in Tong Zi buildings (a type of architectural structure), and ladies stay in more comfortable accommodations arranged by the school, but also in buildings with at least 20 years of history. Although every building had heating in winter, but did not provide hot water for all four seasons. To prevent fire, the school also didn’t allow any personal “instant-heat” (imagine an electric kettle stripped bare leaving only the heating mechanism) devices, imposing severe punishment on offenders, so we could only go to the water room to collect water. It was especially inconvenient. Thus, the traditional way of showing care for girlfriends in this school was to help her to collect water daily. This gossip mongers saw Mu Zhen Fei doing so, couldn’t help but to judge others by their own standards and applied new techniques of uncovering gossip.

All these nonsense were blocked by Yue Ying, “He’s just collecting water, what is so suspicious about that?”

It was really nothing suspect, I didn’t even meet Mu Zhen Fei, it was like some shady underground business, two water bottles passing back and forth.

I liked to live in school but I hated collecting water the most. Now that my most hated task had been resolved, I liked living in school even more.

Mo Shao Qian had been gone for more than a month and I was really happy about it. First, although my eyes were better but there was a faint scar left on my left eyelid. It looked like a teardrop mole, though it wasn’t obvious, there was no knowing how he would react to it. The past experience told me that if I dared do anything funny to my face, the consequences would be dire. Second, I was hoping that he would forget about me, best if he had reconciled with Su Shan Shan, keeping me completely out of the mind, the longer the better. Third, the mid-terms exams were coming up, with a lot of homework and lab work, I didn’t want to be distracted.

Yue Ying found a boyfriend, Jack with his greyish green eyes and Mu Zhen Fei whom she missed out on were all pushed aside to the back of her mind. Speaking of this new boyfriend of hers, it was thanks to Mu Zhen Fei. He would place the water bottles with the first floor Auntie on time, rain or shine, Yue Ying and I were used to it. Coincidentally it was raining the whole day, and in the afternoon we were in the furthest classroom 8. To get from there to hostel 8, would mean walking vertically through the entire school grounds. Thus Yue Ying and I spent 2 dollars to take the school’s internal electric bus back, shivering together under the umbrella as we ran into the building to get water from the Auntie. Only to realize that there was nothing there. The Auntie got along with everyone well, she laughed at us saying, “That person haven’t delivered it over today.”

Mu Zhen Fei was really meticulous, over this past month, this was the first time this situation had occurred. Yue Ying and I were a tad surprised, and we suddenly saw a tall figure in the window, speedily like running a 100m dash, rushing before us with a swoosh. Before we could react, a pair of water bottles were already placed on the floor, that guy was panting slightly, “Auntie, please pass it to Tong Xue from room 302.”

It was then when we saw that it wasn’t Mu Zhen Fei. He was even taller than Mu Zhen Fei, cutting a huge figure. The rain had caused his hair to be completely soaked. His windbreaker was also damp, but not pathetically so, he casually swiped the droplets from his collar. It looked as if a majestic panther that had just left the forest, alert and smart.

Yue Ying loved striking up conversations with cute guys, and asked, “Where’s Mu Zhen Fei?”

“He needs to leave the country for half a month, this half a month he got me to collect water.” That guy had a piercing stare, eyed Yue Ying and seemed at a loss, “You’re Tong Xue?”

After this I realized, that no thanks to Mu Zhen Fei, my name was already a hot topic in the school next door. Students from the university next door saw Mu Zhen Fei coming over to our school daily and were brimming with rumours. They said that Mu Zhen Fei came over to our school for a competition, while rejoicing in victory, he was lifted up by his team mates. Who knew that his phone has smashed into the prettiest girl at our school. Thus Mu Zhen Fei kindly took up responsibility and collected water for the prettiest girl at our school daily. It caused the next door fans of Mu Zhen Fei to be very unhappy, frequently discussing what kind of goddess Tong Xue was, to actually let soon to be graduating Mu Zhen Fei falling over himself with her charms. The hidden meaning being that our school was disgruntled about losing, hence turning to a beauty trap.

What are rumours, these are rumours, what are distortions, these are distortions.

After so much rumour mongering I became the prettiest girl in school. So in everyone’s eyes only the prettiest girl would be compatible with Mu Zhen Fei. What a pity, in my next life I needed to be prettier than He Yu Yang.

Before Yue Ying could reply, that guy said, “We had exams today so I was late, really sorry about this. Why not I treat you both to a meal.”

Would Yue Ying reject a guy whose eye lashes were still glistening with rain drops?

She wouldn’t and neither would I.

So on a cold rainy day in autumn, when the sky had already turned dark, three of us took the electric bus to the west gate. There was a famous street with loads of food and activities outside the west gate. We ate a huge meal of beef hotpot. After the hotpot we got to know that he was called Zhao Gao Xing, and he also realized that I was Tong Xue and Yue Ying’s real identity was Liu Yue Ying.

Zhao Gao Xing was one batch later than Mu Zhen Fei, in the same level as us. He majored in sports, and was a hurdler like Liu Xiang, no wonder he seemed to fly to us when delivering those two bottles of water that day. I didn’t know how he managed to pursue Yue Ying, over these three years there had been many guys who have fallen under Yue Ying’s spell, but even as she seemed desperate for love she was not flirtatious at all and held traditional views towards love. Perhaps she had read too many novels and didn’t want to repeat their mistakes. Initially I didn’t have the slightest suspicion about their relationship, only after Mu Zhen Fei returned and starting collecting water for me did I realize that Zhao Gao Xing continued to collect two bottles of water for Yue Ying, waiting at the first floor of hostel 8.

After Yue Ying and Zhao Gao Xing started dating, I got to know Mu Zhen Fei better. Zhao Gao Xing was Mu Zhen Fei’s best friend. Mu Zhen Fei knew many people, had many friends, and frequently went out for a meal in a large group, I belonged to the group that was friend of friends and because buddies after these frequent meetups. After we got to know each other better, I found out that Mu Zhen Fei was not what he seemed. In Yue Ying’s words, ” Upright and positive on the surface, dark within.” Zhao Gao Xing summarized it more succinctly, “He steps on the shattered pieces of hearts, yet turns around and looks at them innocently.”

Then Mu Zhen Fei and I were extremely close because I was grateful that he collected water for me daily, and he was thankful that I didn’t get even with him for the deterioration of my eyesight by 300 degrees. So I regarded him as a worthy friend and he saw me as a girl who wasn’t typically annoying and clingy. Our friendship grew by the days, stopping short of getting into a relationship with each other. Others regarded me as Mu Zhen Fei’s official girlfriend, every time we had a meal they would enthusiastically greet me as “Sister-in-law”, like in the triads. Even when I protested I was ignored, and they simply assumed I was shy. Because Mu Zhen Fei also denied it, the more he denied the more certain they were. I even suspected that Mu Zhen Fei was letting them misunderstand us on purpose, I guess because he had me as a cover, the likelihood of him stepping on shattered pieces of broken hearts reduced. I had no other intentions towards him, hence he used me as a shield. Yue Ying was right, he was completely dark inside.

On Yue Ying’s birthday it was very lively. Zhao Gao Xing invited a huge group of friends to celebrate with her. There were Yue Ying friends and Zhao Gao Xing’s friends so Mu Zhen Fei and I stood at the KTV entrance to entertain the neverending flow of guests. Mu Zhen Fei’s friends made fun of us and compared us to the bride and the groom at a wedding dinner. A newly wed couple welcoming guests at the hotel entrance. Mu Zhen Fei said, “Why not I buy you a bouquet of flowers, it would look even more so the!” I laughed and patted him, “Go and get it then!”

He laughed too, revealing those drop dead gorgeous dimples. I lifted my head and suddenly saw Xiao Shan.

Actually I had thought about it before, since we got to know Mu Zhen Fei, since Zhao Gao Xing started dating Yue Ying, I’ve thought about this, because they were in the same school as Xiao Shan. Although they were in different levels and studying different majors. But I wondered if one day, I would hear Xiao Shan’s name escape Mu Zhen Fei or Zhao Gao Xing’s mouths. Or possibly bump into him at a gathering. Whenever I thought about this, I would feel bitter, and unexplainable feeling. It’s like quenching my thirst with poison, if a heart has already broken, whether what is drunk is poison or not, isn’t important anymore.

But never, not even once did Mu Zhen Fei or Zhao Gao Xing mention Xiao Shan’s name. Every gathering we’ve been to, Xiao Shan had never appeared. So I stupidly assumed that in such a huge school with tens of thousands of students, Mu Zhen Fei and Zhao Gao Xing didn’t know Xiao Shan. I was wrong, time and time again did not guarantee that it would forever not happen, forever, this word didn’t exist.

These three years, I’d never seen Xiao Shan, except in my dreams. Even in my dreams, he was a blurry figure, unclear. There was a time I was afraid I’d see him, because the dream version of him would break apart, and I was afraid my memories would too. These three years, I didn’t have the courage to approach that distant past.

When I truly saw then, I then realized that even if my heart had already broken, it would still hurt worse than a stab. I wasn’t exaggerating, because right then I couldn’t even break, eyes were warm with tears, trying my best to just stand stand, staring at him like a fool.

Xiao Shan saw me and was stunned for a moment. Mu Zhen Fei had already patted his shoulders, “Eh, you really made it for Gao Xing, when it’s my girlfriend’s birthday, are you coming?”

Xiao Shan smiled, “Of course I’ll come, I’ll come.”I would rather die, rather run off than stand here. He didn’t even look at me but I knew he misunderstand. I opened my mouth but couldn’t say a word. So what if he didn’t misunderstood? Reality was a thousand, then thousand times worse than this. I didn’t dare look at him, whether he put on weight or got slimmer, or if he grew taller, I didn’t dare look. My legs went soft, started shaking, and used almost all my strength to stand straight.
Xiao Shan and Mu Zhen Fei exchanged a few words before he left for the room upstairs. The night wind blew against my face, a little freezing. Mu Zhen Fei turned to look at me and asked, “Are you cold? Your face is so cold that it looks drained of blood.”
I couldn’t say a word, and forced out a smile that was even uglier than crying. Mu Zhen Fei waved me in, “Go in go in, I’ll be fine here alone, if you catch a cold I’ll need to collect water daily again.”

Even when I wasn’t down with a cold he also collected water for me daily. But I was in a mess then, so I didn’t spare the effort to retort. I was like a snail, cowardly crawling into the room. There were many friends today, and it was unusually lively. Yue Ying that microphone hogger was singing “Blue and White Porcelain”, “The blue sky is awaiting rain and I’m waiting for you…the moonlight is rippled, clouding the ending…”

Such beautiful lyrics, such beautiful melody, I stood at a corner in a daze. Xiao Shan sang Jay Chou’s songs really well. I had heard him sing “East Wind Breaks”, “Jasmine Orange” and many other songs by Jay Chou. When it came to “Hair Like Snow”, there was no one to sing it for me anymore. I was about to cry, and couldn’t help but think of the past, especially since I saw Xiao Shan today, it was harder to not recall. The past was the past, there were no misunderstandings between us, no bad blood, no fate, we had broken up long ago.

Zhao Gao Xing ordered an exceptionally large cake, when it was time to make a wish all the lights were switched off. The candlelight shone on Yue Ying’s face, slight blush on her cheeks, looking especially pretty. No wonder they all said that women in the love were the most beautiful. She clasped her hands together and made a wish and afterwards everyone blew out the candles with her in a puff. After the lights were back on, they cheered, asking Gao Xing to perform.

Zhao Gao Xing hugged Yue Ying and kissed her cheeks and everyone was catcalling, laughing and clapping. Zhao Gao Xing held on to Yue Ying’s hands, cutting the cake together with her. The portion when Yue Ying’s name was specially cut out and given to her. The cake cutting continued, before it was complete, Yue Ying let out a yelp, looking like she was laughing and crying. She hit his back, “You’re not afraid that I’d choke!” But there was unimaginable joy even in her rebuke, she held on to the ring, covered in cream, which did little to diminish its brilliance.

Zhao Gao Xing was so happy that he didn’t even bother cutting the cake, he just hurriedly put the ring on her finger, “Marry me after graduation!”

Everyone was cheering, I didn’t know who was holding on to the streamers and pulling the party poppers, some people even brought party sprays. Amidst the popping sounds, all the colourful pieces fell from the ceiling, numerous colours like vibrant flowers, mixed with shining gold streamers, in this joyous atmosphere, it looked as if all the flowers were blooming. Amidst the rain of flowers i saw Xiao Shan, when I had the courage to look him in the eye, I realized he didn’t see me at all. But he was happily clapping with everyone else, smiling at the couple standing in front of the cake.

I guessed he must had really forgotten.